tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post2896677505179279681..comments2023-09-26T09:48:49.979-04:00Comments on ...but then I had kids: Hand-me-down MamaLiz Aguerrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09465793815137696650noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-65279207883766141252010-04-26T12:29:13.795-04:002010-04-26T12:29:13.795-04:00I understand completely what you are saying. I ha...I understand completely what you are saying. I have 3 kiddos and when I had my second I always felt like he got the short end of the stick. Now that he is 3 and considered the "middle" child he is our most easy going, laid back, independent child. I LOVE that about him. Our oldest, is by far my most high maintenance child I love his spirit but he can wear me out. Hang in there. It is so much fun to watch their personalities grow and develop and most importantly how they interact together. Nothing is better than those (rare) times when my kids are playing together!<br /><br />JennyJennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12467662858991308447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-71059961524639084092010-04-26T07:03:21.250-04:002010-04-26T07:03:21.250-04:00Wow, I can so relate. Now that my eldest is at nur...Wow, I can so relate. Now that my eldest is at nursery, I do get a little alone time with my 14-month-old, but he's definitely short-changed. I notice the resilient second child syndrome in him and I value it. But it's definitely tricky to find that balance. <br /><br />Maybe try and find different times when you can be alone with each of them, if dad takes one for instance? Easier said than done. Great post.Babes about Townhttp://babesabouttown.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-92094931997258414262010-04-24T17:38:12.493-04:002010-04-24T17:38:12.493-04:00I love your sweet honesty! I bet you are a really ...I love your sweet honesty! I bet you are a really wonderful mommy! I have 3....there is always room in your heart for more! <br />Please stop by and see me! I am giving away a pretty rose teapot for April,<br />http://shabbychictreasures.blogspot.com/<br />Hugs,<br />OliviaOliviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13599820739398124551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-49584148460688307992010-04-23T06:50:12.892-04:002010-04-23T06:50:12.892-04:00It is hard with multiple children in the home, par...It is hard with multiple children in the home, particularly when they are close in age AND of the same sex. It causes them to vie for resources (aka toys, clothes, similarly mom themed time) more intensely than children who are not the same sex or in the same age group. I have 3. 3 strapping boys and in our case #1 has been pushed to the side, I think it's largely a personality thing. Long story short, in our house we carve out alone time for each of the boys. It doesn't happen daily and sometimes not even weekly, but we make sure that there are things that just #1, or just #2, or just #3 get to do with their father or myself. Even if it's just going grocery shopping (#2 is my side kick for that), or watching American Idol (that's #3's thing), or playing a video game (#1 and Dumb Dad do this every Saturday while the younger boys sleep). We have noticed that it makes a HUGE difference. It helps us feel more connected and less frustrated and it has done wonders for their behavior (particularly #2 who tends to act out if not receiving enough attention). Plus, they always seem to feel so special after their alone time that it makes letting the laundry pile up (as if I need an excuse) worth it. Good luck. Maybe I'll write a Mom Tip about this...I think you've inspired me:)Dumb Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00912124222427415284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-45036504606506111792010-04-23T06:22:30.554-04:002010-04-23T06:22:30.554-04:00I've been thinking a lot about this too with m...I've been thinking a lot about this too with my two. My littlest just was sick the last week and I got to spend some quality time with him and it was wonderful to connect with him one on one. Those moments are so much more precious with him than they were with my daughter. Thanks for sharing this. Stopping by from SITS!Juliannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12930994565945666199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-70717069396949124762010-04-22T22:19:50.169-04:002010-04-22T22:19:50.169-04:00Wow. I just finished writing my post and came ove...Wow. I just finished writing my post and came over here to find you have written so many thoughts that I had as I wrote my post. I could highlite this entire thing and say, Ditto. I feel so guilty how often I resent Hannah sometimes. That she doesn't allow me to give ANY of myself wholly to Luke. I try to put him to give him a good night routine alone where I read him some books and sing him some songs as I always did with her but she always finds a way to butt in and "need" me for something. None of his toys can be just his (even though really, she has no interest in cars and trucks... she just doesn't want him to have anything for himself). I can rarely even give him a hug without her pushing her way between us. But as you say, the second child doesn't really seem to care. They just roll with it. They just want to be a part of the group. Sad but true.<br /><br />Great post!beccahttp://www.dramaformama.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-22948893570852301212010-04-22T10:48:26.181-04:002010-04-22T10:48:26.181-04:00This is brilliant and so very true, at least in my...This is brilliant and so very true, at least in my house. Miss M. gets the scraps. And, like your child, she doesn't seem to mind because it's all she's ever known.<br /><br />But *I* know. And I do feel guilty.<br /><br />I loved this post.TKWhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16409505008377005185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-19908252623266224762010-04-21T22:21:03.600-04:002010-04-21T22:21:03.600-04:00Hand-me-down mama. Oh what a wonderful way to put ...Hand-me-down mama. Oh what a wonderful way to put it. I feel like each subsequent child gets a little less of me, less of me, less of me. And these days, I am worried that there is so very little mama left in me that none of the three are getting anything at all. <br /><br />Thankfully, though, they have each other. And I presume that they see very little of what I see. <br /><br />One happy thought is that all the boys--first, middle, baby--are learning from each other in ways that I could never teach them if it were just me with one boy all the time. It's that sibling thing that keeps me knowing I'm making the right decisions, even if I feel like I'm just in survival mode most of the time. <br /><br />This is one of my favorites, Liz. So incredibly thoughtful. So incredibly fluid. Thank you.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05188568358103640489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-83638678991684471392010-04-21T21:41:36.964-04:002010-04-21T21:41:36.964-04:00Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You've just...Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You've just described absolutely perfectly the way I feel so much of the time about my little one.<br /><br />I am a second child myself, so I try to remind myself that it all balances out somehow. But it is very difficult to feel that when I'm living it from a protective mother's perspective.<br /><br />Thank you so much, Liz, for showing me that I am not alone in this complex set of feelings.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-45121740892765574022010-04-21T19:42:39.981-04:002010-04-21T19:42:39.981-04:00It is hard to juggle so many bodies, with so many ...It is hard to juggle so many bodies, with so many different demands and requirements. With each one, you are a little more frayed, tired, older; but also wiser, more appreciative, more able to really enjoy and recognize the moments that keep us coming back for more.<br /><br />You are not alone. I have always felt this, yet never had the words to explain it. Thanks for putting into words what I have been struggling to name.Mariahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01869747946511793954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-14111807208718661732010-04-21T13:53:37.532-04:002010-04-21T13:53:37.532-04:00As we prepare for number three's arrival, I...As we prepare for number three's arrival, I'm having so many of the same emotions. How will there ever be enough of me to go around?? I figure I'll do my best, just as you are, and (try to) find some contentment in that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-24317128991229708672010-04-21T13:27:13.980-04:002010-04-21T13:27:13.980-04:00It's funny-I want my daughter to have "se...It's funny-I want my daughter to have "second child" qualities. These children do seem more independent, easy-going, etc. I wonder if all of this attention she receives now will kill us when she's a teenager. But this is life. You do your best and you know what? I bet when Aidan is older he will say he had an amazing and loving childhood.Heathernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-15269051153635550702010-04-21T12:59:30.350-04:002010-04-21T12:59:30.350-04:00Maybe you & Aidan need to spend some time toge...Maybe you & Aidan need to spend some time together just the two of you. I think he's fine - he doesn't know any different - this is they way it's always been for him. But maybe some time for just the two of you will make you feel better.Gigihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05467164195744234746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-30615712709720297292010-04-21T12:57:08.382-04:002010-04-21T12:57:08.382-04:00Bravo.. Well said !1 As a mom of 3 boys I can att...Bravo.. Well said !1 As a mom of 3 boys I can attest to that!!! hugsnataleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16999272522761149608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-25867635511064182832010-04-21T12:52:31.441-04:002010-04-21T12:52:31.441-04:00Well said. I think you're right, though. The s...Well said. I think you're right, though. The subsequent babies have a unique advantage in that they learn to make the best of what's available to them.Kelly Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12738542739547858853noreply@blogger.com