tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post8546327899079039279..comments2023-09-26T09:48:49.979-04:00Comments on ...but then I had kids: Sure, go ahead...make me feel worseLiz Aguerrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09465793815137696650noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-32332967036182729762010-02-25T17:22:40.782-05:002010-02-25T17:22:40.782-05:00I think you did the absolute PERFECT thing! Good f...I think you did the absolute PERFECT thing! Good for you, even though it was hard. Unfortunately, it sounds like it was harder on you than it was on him. Cheer up. You're a great parent and all those judgmental parents would think less of you if you hadn't punished your son for his moments of being a bully.Theresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07915254352452492849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-64319339702843579242010-02-25T13:59:38.462-05:002010-02-25T13:59:38.462-05:00I think you are amazing. Sure we don't know ea...I think you are amazing. Sure we don't know each other, but I totally admire how you handled this situation. Sometimes it feels like the hardest thing to do as a parent is follow through. Add into it the people who aren't a part of your decision-making who feel the need to vocalize their displeasure, and it's DEFINITELY the hardest thing to do.<br /><br />I'm tucking this story away because I know I'll need to revisit it when it's time to make tough decisions around here.ckhttp://badmommymoments.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-33695110174601516072010-02-25T09:01:21.982-05:002010-02-25T09:01:21.982-05:00You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing. We have also r...You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing. We have also recently been having a bit of trouble with our 7 year old in school. Disrespectful. He's on his final chance with the bus driver. One more incident he will not be allowed to ride the bus again. No chances. Tried taking away recess, video games, toys, games time, many many things. We had the last straw when a note that was sent home by the bus driver (a MONTH late he game it to us) gave detail of what was going on and that he would be permanently removed from the bus if ANY further infractions occurred. So we did what I feel any parent with any sense would do....I cancelled his birthday party. No friends are coming. He had to tell ALL of them why. He got to tell grandma, grandpa, uncles, cousins, teachers that he was punished because of what he has done. We even cancelled the cake. So I commend you for having the strength to hold your head high walking out the door of your home and into what always to me seems like junior high all over again.Jen Ficorellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01192929984369860341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-66853284705580054722010-02-25T07:20:30.558-05:002010-02-25T07:20:30.558-05:00Stopping by from SITS...as a former teacher and a ...Stopping by from SITS...as a former teacher and a mother, you did the right thing. My children are adults now and nothing is more heartwarming to hear them say that I did a great job and they understand now why I made certain choices with them. You cry now with worry, wait until they become wonderful adults, you'll cry with pride. :)<br />Cindy at LakewoodOld Time Cindyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964393517651645084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-51541838662593670862010-02-24T20:24:14.716-05:002010-02-24T20:24:14.716-05:00Hey! Just to let you know that you have been awar...Hey! Just to let you know that you have been awarded a Beautiful Blogger Award... Link back to my blog to find out the details...Mariahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01869747946511793954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-57073907632677103062010-02-24T10:36:29.550-05:002010-02-24T10:36:29.550-05:00I find this so bizarre. I just cannot imagine how ...I find this so bizarre. I just cannot imagine how ANYONE could disagree with how you handled this! You responded to a serious situation with a serious consequence (from your son's point of view). <br /><br />And anyone who thinks "cruel" and "harsh" are remotely reasonable assessments of a child being forced to miss a birthday party, are out of their heads. I think you did awesome.MMChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09374988203945883069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-89723308259417568272010-02-24T08:10:41.201-05:002010-02-24T08:10:41.201-05:00You are such a great Mom, Liz. Tough situation and...You are such a great Mom, Liz. Tough situation and you handled it well.JennyMachttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14594526663480442855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-27144580709409861642010-02-24T07:21:19.605-05:002010-02-24T07:21:19.605-05:00You and hubby are wonderful parents! It does no g...You and hubby are wonderful parents! It does no good to tell a child one thing and not follow through on it.<br /><br />I think, but don't know, that parents pass judgment on other parents because it is the only way to make the original's parenting decisions seem okay. If I did opposite of you and your decision is bad, I am okay. But if I did opposite of you and your decision is good, I am bad. No one ever sees the gray area.Nickihttp://www.nickisnook.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-3587789866090967852010-02-24T07:08:39.993-05:002010-02-24T07:08:39.993-05:00Wonderful job! I get accused of being cold-hearted...Wonderful job! I get accused of being cold-hearted and uncaring all the time and you know what if that's the way the outside world wants to see me - fine - that's their deal not mine. But my house for the most part runs smoothly because I follow through with what I say. If you don't follow through with it - they'll never believe you and in turn you would be giving them permission to walk all over you. As an adult I see how we did that to my own mother and I'm heart sick over it. I refuse to allow my children to treat me disrespectfully or walk all over me and if I could go back in time - I would have respected my mother more. Hang in there - you are doing just fine.~T~https://www.blogger.com/profile/09380637697617982304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-14274642144425306822010-02-24T05:39:28.564-05:002010-02-24T05:39:28.564-05:00[For: Harsh & Cruel. A: Let your boy go & ...[For: Harsh & Cruel. A: Let your boy go & hit her child once, will never ask a question again... llolz] Well, the situation sometimes gets worse than ever thought, i happened to deal with a similar problem but luckily found a solution early. I subscribed to the parenting magazine subscriptions & it was just awesome to have a guide with you for all your parenting problems, I guess that might help you to.Parenting Magazinehttp://www.subscriptionaddiction.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-85620432411225221852010-02-24T05:01:58.863-05:002010-02-24T05:01:58.863-05:00I SO agree with what you have written Liz, you did...I SO agree with what you have written Liz, you did the right thing and well done you for sticking to your guns and following through with it....I am sure it was very hard for you.<br /><br />I hold my hands up and struggle with parenting every.single.day. Without a doubt. I never know if I am doing the right thing - and yes, it is very hard to admit it. Other parents often seem so confident, assured and relaxed about it all.....why don't I?!<br /><br />Clearly what you did had the desired effect on your son and he knows you took what he did very seriously. I have no idea why other mothers would react as they did....quite shocking.<br /><br />Well done Liz.....you made me feel better having read your post....and you are a great example of responsible parenting.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07435722126028910012noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-78335664963738239562010-02-24T00:45:26.230-05:002010-02-24T00:45:26.230-05:00Good for you fir following through eccentric thoug...Good for you fir following through eccentric though it was hard. I think if everyone did that from the start there would be a lot less bullying. Your son is obviously a great kid. You're just doing what you have to to help him stay that way.Summerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16287164654433360565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-62478178285057845622010-02-24T00:40:43.570-05:002010-02-24T00:40:43.570-05:00I turned to my husband and read him about half of ...I turned to my husband and read him about half of this post. When I got to the part about what the parents said to you he said, "why do people feel they have the right to judge? They do not know that person's situation." I agree wholeheartedly with him. You are doing exactly what you need to do by finding a suitable punishment. <br /><br />Oh, Liz, I wanted to hug you through my screen while I was reading this. I know your heart was breaking during that party but it was worth it. <br /><br />Keep your chin up. You are amazing. People and their opinions be da***edamber_mtmchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17871256362646081536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-13598959675258663612010-02-23T22:57:32.475-05:002010-02-23T22:57:32.475-05:00Ohhh, as hard as it may seem YOU DID THE RIGHT THI...Ohhh, as hard as it may seem YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. It IS hard to be a mom and you have to always be one step ahead. <br />I have had those looks, those comments, those groans....but now that I am on child #4 (with 15 yrs difference in the ages of #3 and #4) I can say that I am pretty confident in my parenting abilities and so should you in yours. You are the only mom they have. You make the decisions regarding every aspect of their life journey and the lessons they will need to learn. Who do those other mothers think they are? Sitting in judgement of another mother's actions? Hmm, wonder who runs their houses!!!<br />But I would have totally been crying right along side you sister!!Madeline's Memoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14972524609715536562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-3745604232777292102010-02-23T21:36:18.341-05:002010-02-23T21:36:18.341-05:00I don't think it's just mothers. Women in ...I don't think it's just mothers. Women in general are very hard on each other. I'm glad you were able to let it roll off your back and stand firm in your parenting decision. As Ben gets older, you'll face more judgment, but it gets a little easier.Kelly Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12738542739547858853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-52649445950768261852010-02-23T21:23:06.330-05:002010-02-23T21:23:06.330-05:00Ugh, Liz, I'm sorry that you had to go through...Ugh, Liz, I'm sorry that you had to go through that cauldron of judgment. I know that every parenting choice I make is raked over by the women I know. And why? Sadly, I think they find joy in the times when I have trouble, just as they are jealous when I am happy. What does that say about their lives that they rise and fall emotionally based on what is happening to someone else? <br /><br />I know you're not asking for opinions, but I think your decision was admirable. Just look at how Ben reacted at school!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-11661880109153275312010-02-23T20:09:39.746-05:002010-02-23T20:09:39.746-05:00I'm glad you got your confirmation from your s...I'm glad you got your confirmation from your son's outstanding behavior on Monday. Eff those "other mothers" and their 2 cent opinions. You can give them your opinion when they're crying the blues about finding weed in their 12 year old's backpack. Being a parent is hardwork, being a child's bff is not and only hurts the child. Too bad they will find out the hard way. I only wish I were there so I could have told them just that (I JUST LOVE telling people to butt the eff outta my bees knees).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-49428910830542732022010-02-23T19:50:03.393-05:002010-02-23T19:50:03.393-05:00Liz, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!! When those parent...Liz, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!! When those parent's children turn into unmanageable adolescents, promise me we can roll our eyes together! You are right, it is hard, there is no harder job on the face of the Earth. But I've learned that the only one who can make qualified decisions about my kids is ME, and I don't need anyone's permission or eye rolling. Hopefully, Ben is getting it out of his system and it will be smooth sailing for a while. But kids test boundaries, even when they know what the consequences are going to be. That is part of growing up. And our job as parents is to be right there, in their faces (so to speak) reminding them of what honest, kind, and respectful people do. We are not perfect, we are JUST parents, doing the best we can. And you've got whole-hearted support over here!Mariahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01869747946511793954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-39916597230610079102010-02-23T19:08:01.185-05:002010-02-23T19:08:01.185-05:00I am so so PROUD of you for sticking to your guns ...I am so so PROUD of you for sticking to your guns and doing what you threatened to do. That is the ONLY way the kids learn. And as hard as it is... in the end it's right. I'm so bad at following through. I'm getting better because I SEE it works but I have a ways to go. But based on how Ben was at school yesterday, looks like you did right. <br /><br />And those eye-rolling, opinionated, sanctimonious moms? Screw them. Easier said than done, I know, but really, they'll always be out there and you can't let it sway what you know in your heart is right. I had to cancel HANNAH'S in school birthday party last year because of her behavior. Her OWN party! I threatened it, and I did it. Even the teacher's questioned this choice but I knew it was right and she definitely learned from it. <br /><br />Keep it up. You're doing great mama!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-7200406749576076612010-02-23T18:54:36.199-05:002010-02-23T18:54:36.199-05:00Hi! I don't remember how I found your blog, bu...Hi! I don't remember how I found your blog, but I did and am so glad! <br />Ugh! I hate being judged by other parents. You did the right thing for your kid and the others should get their judgmental mouths closed! I was one of the first of my friends to have kids and I heard "I won't let my kids talk to me that way" or "I am not going to let my kids eat/drink/watch/play that". Now they all have kids and call me for advice! I love saying...I thought you weren't going to let your kid talk to you that way:) <br />Never doubt, what I am sure are, your mad mommy skills:) <br /><br />SheaShea Bateshttp://www.willjacksoneatdinner.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-7991401446332269952010-02-23T18:07:08.958-05:002010-02-23T18:07:08.958-05:00Oh, Liz. Heartbreak and anger and sadness all roll...Oh, Liz. Heartbreak and anger and sadness all rolled together and mixed up and muddled. Parenting IS hard. I never, ever know if I am making the right choices as a parents - if my judgment is on the mark or very far off. <br /><br />And damn those other mothers and their rolling eyes. And dammit this is brilliant:<br />"How is it that we live in a world where you can't tell someone when a haircut has gone completely awry, but it's totally okay to tell someone when you think their parenting has?"<br /><br />This is one of your strongest posts ever, and most likely due to the fact that you are packed full of emotion right now. Bravo!Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05188568358103640489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-47620341570391760052010-02-23T17:57:08.500-05:002010-02-23T17:57:08.500-05:00YAY for you & Hubby for following through (and...YAY for you & Hubby for following through (and boy, oh boy - I know how hard that can be!). And this is why you have (and will continue to have) a great kid! The judgment is out there because those parents don't have the guts to do what needs to be done (and they know it) so they figure by judging you they don't have to look at their own shortcomings. Everyone always thought I was (and still am) hard on Man-Child - but you know what? He's a good boy - who, so far, makes good choices. Keep up the good work Liz! You restore my faith in parents today!Gigihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05467164195744234746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-11049219647586404272010-02-23T17:31:01.870-05:002010-02-23T17:31:01.870-05:00I don't know why moms tend to judge each other...I don't know why moms tend to judge each other. It's crazy. I just wrote a guest post for a blog for next month about this.<br /><br />You sound like a very caring mama!Shellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06811697675090627618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8201961112490811175.post-61427309008035081372010-02-23T17:30:24.100-05:002010-02-23T17:30:24.100-05:00Doing the right thing is hard, that's why so m...Doing the right thing is hard, that's why so many choose not to. <br />You did awesome. And your sons new plan is outstanding. Guess what? You just made a responsible human being.Vagabonds Mercantilehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03810766586409920216noreply@blogger.com