Monday, April 26, 2010

I don't think this is what Mattel had in mind...

Somewhere out there in the blogosphere, some people have come up with some pretty creative blog awards. I've been flattered to receive a few such bloggies over the past year, but a couple of weeks ago I received one that was, well, um, even more quirky than the Zombie Chicken Award. ThatGirl39 of Forty Not Out has honored me with...ready?

You sure?

Positive?

Okay...here it is...

The Plastic Joy Award!


Yep. It's naked dolls doin' it. (Check out brunette Barbie on top...you go, girl!).
Now, we all know that I can get as serious and dark as the next person. I'm all about blogging bluntly...putting it all out there...therapy online, if you will. This blog is mainly about my kids, about how motherhood challenges me every day, about how I struggle to keep myself authentic and happy and interesting while still being a Good Mom.
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However...I am all about frivolity. Fashion? Celebrities? Shoes? I'm in. And that's what I love about ThatGirl39...I mean, she has regular Wardrobe Watch posts, for glory's sake. So when she bestowed upon me this raunchy little award, I was like "Oh, hell yeah."
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And wait...it gets better. It's more than just a pornographic picture of Ken and Barbie (minus the highlights, apparently). The award's rules state that I must select 5 characters with whom I'd like to, well, you know...I mean, look at the picture...'nuff said. So let me take a moment to point out that the rules state that I must select characters, not celebrities. I know...semantics...but it does make a difference, believe me. It's one thing to say "Oh, the 5 hottest celebrities are..." That's easy. That's all about eye candy. With this one, I had to think about the characters' personalities. (Maybe I think too much?)
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So now, without further adieu (and with the hopes that I can forget that Hubby reads this blog regularly), I present you with the 5 Characters I'd Like To Ride Like Brunette Barbie:
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1. Lost's James Sawyer:
I'm all about the dirty, long-haired look, but what makes me want to forget that this guy hasn't bathed in days is that underneath that bad-ass-I-don't-give-a-damn-exterior is a guy who just wants to be understood (and knows how to treat a woman in a cage).


2. Dirty Dancing's Johnny Castle:
Forget porn. Give me the dancing/sex scene from "Dirty Dancing." Johnny's a little misunderstood and a little "bad boy" (see a pattern?), and loving him pissed off a whole lotta people. Plus, every woman should have a man who pulls her out of the corner her Daddy put her in (What? I've been in therapy. It's okay.).
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3. The Hangover's Phil:
Okay, here is my token pretty boy. Bradley Cooper has never particularly done anything for me. In fact, when I saw this movie, I thought it was the first time I'd ever seen this guy. I didn't realize until later that this was the same guy from "Wedding Crashers" and a few other movies. I am soooooo not into pretty boys. I am sooooo not into clean cut. But the character he plays...well, who wouldn't want to get drunk in Vegas and steal a police car with this guy? He was the ultimate party boy: funny, laid back, and ready for anything. Oh, and at the end of the movie, when he's got his kid slung over his shoulder, sound asleep? Perfection.


4. The Bridges of Madison County's Robert Kincaid:
Allow me to stress, yet again, that the bloggie assignment was to pick characters, not actors with whom I'd like to romp around, so this is not Clint Eastwood I am talking about. In fact, I debated just putting a picture of the book's cover, rather than the movie version. Robert Kincaid was an artsy, rugged, nonconformist who knew what love and passion was when he found it. That's the kind of intensity a woman needs in her life.
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And for my last and final choice...the one and only...
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5. Pirates of the Caribbean's Captain Jack Sparrow: Yes, I realize he smells. Yes, I realize he looks a tad effeminate when he runs. Yes, I know he might be completely mad. And yes, I realize the fact that Johnny Depp plays him probably skews my perception a bit. But no matter how many times I see this movie, I can not, for the life of me, figure out why Elizabeth Bennett would pick Will. I mean, to be on a deserted beach, drinking rum with Captain Jack, with his smudgy eye liner and chiseled cheek bones? Argh, Cap'n.

And so now I pass this task (and award) to a few other of my bloggie friends:
~Maria at Mom of Three Seeks Sanity
~Jane & Lucy (this is soooo up your alley) at Four Jugs
~Kristen at Motherese
~Jen & Sarah at Momalom
I figure everyone loves a little bloggie award...and this one does wonders for your libido.
*And for everyone else...c'mon, join in...which character/s would you like to pull a Brunette Barbie on?

16 comments:

  1. Hi - wow love your list...its a great award isn't it? I said thatgirl39 was a feisty one ;-) The inclusion of Johnny Castle was inspired! Sigh...Phew.

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  2. Johnny Depp...you send me. MMMMMMM.

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  3. Decisions, decisions...I must revisit my DVD collection to refresh my memory...Somehow though, I think I have "a lotta 'splainin" to do to hubby, no? Maybe he should get to pick his 10....

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  4. Shoot, I mean 5! See, you have me being greedy already! LOL!

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  5. Phew, I'm having to fan myself over here ... Thanks for the vicarious libido boost. I'm sure I'll be dreaming of Johnny Castle tonight. =>

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  6. Definitely Vinnie Barbarino! I thought for a minute it was going to be CARTOON characters, like Sponge Bob, whom I think we all have to agree is not sexy...

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  7. LOVE IT!!!!! Brilliant award, that really made me smile....probably not what Mattel had in mind, you are quite right :)

    Great choices....Johnny Castle, any man who can dance like that definitely gets my vote. Johnny Depp......sigh!

    This morning walking home from school I saw an actor driving by - he lives round the corner from me and was in all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies....he was at traffic lights so I had a moment or two to gaze at him and I suddenly had a realisation that that was probably the nearest I will ever get to the lovely Johnny....sad but true! I almost wanted to run over and grab his hand :)

    Anyway, sorry for the ramble! Thank you so much for the award....will see what I can do :)

    Thanks Liz!! xoxo

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  8. Woo hoo! Sweaty Island Cage Love with Sawyer! Ahem... calm now. One of the best LOST moments ever...

    And love Johnny Depp too. Cap'n Jack Sparrow...

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  9. You had me at Sawyer. I think we're up for the challenge ... thanks for thinking of us. Stay tuned!
    Jane.

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  10. I love it, but you know you already stole Sawyer from the top spot on my list! This is fun, fun, fun. I'm putting my thinking cap on now! xoxo

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  11. Oooh, Jen and I will have to compile our list. This is too much fun. Um, Johnny Castle, won't you be mine?

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  12. Being a good Christian woman, of course I don't...ahem...lust after men. But I do have vivid dreams. And, I am totally not responsible for men who appear in my dreams. Here are the men (characters) who make me want to keep sleeping:

    1. Idris Elba in "The Wire".
    2. Josh Hartnett in "Pearl Harbor".
    3. (Somewhat of a tie) Josh Charles in "In Treatment" and again in "The Good Wife".
    4. (I'm totally cheating-this is an athlete BUT he appeared in a video) Will Demps-please google!
    5.Viggo Mortensen in "The Lord of the Rings".

    Yes,there is no pattern or type of man but remember they are all in my dreams :)

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  13. Oh wow!! Just loved your list and the whole post! I was grinning like an 'eedgit from beginning to end! Oh and Johnny and Sawyer.... so with you on those two! Fab choices Lady and thank you for your kind words! Love ya! xx

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  14. Hmmm... just had to add my list - err... not that I'd ever go brunette barbie on anyone but..
    1. Jack Sparrow - you so got that one right, girl!
    2. Dr. Ross - ER,
    3. Bender - The Breakfast Club
    4. David - The Lost Boys (creepy I know, but what can I tell ya)
    5. Dominic Toretto Fast and the Furious

    LOVE your blog, and must become your follower now!

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