Friday, March 12, 2010

I think I need to go on hiatus

During our recent getaway weekend to South Beach, Hubby and I were enjoying over-priced calamari and even more over-priced cocktails when we were distracted by a sudden frenzy of slightly important-looking people whizzing by, stopping to set up cameras, lights, and generally techie-looking equipment at a table a few feet away. Since stuff like this is quite the norm on South Beach, we weren't too surprised by the activity, but were curious as to who this was all for. That's when we saw Khloe and Khourtney Kardashian, along with Baby Mason, strolling down the sidewalk, all glammed up and shiny-looking, pretending to spontaneously select a table at a sidewalk cafe for lunch.

I know a lot of people can't stand the Kardashians, but I find them slightly amusing (and, due to my own childhood traumas, have a particularly soft spot in my heart for Khloe, a.k.a. "The Fat Sister"), so I stood around for a few minutes when I was done eating and watched them film.

The two of them mostly chatted while adjusting their hair, but every once in a while, they'd pause and look over at the crowd that had gathered. I could be wrong, but they seemed almost surprised by us gawkers. And every time they'd look over at us and turn back to each other, each one would fidget a bit, adjusting her blouse or sitting up just a bit straighter.

I read in a recent US Magazine article (Yeah, so? I read Jane Austen too, okay?) that the Kardashians are in the spotlight so much that every once in a while they tell their people to "take them off the books for two straight weeks."

Even the Kardashians, queens of fame without talent, lovers of all things Hollywood, who've made a career (sorta) of getting attention, need a time out. Even they get overwhelmed by it all.

Sometimes even all the good stuff is too much stuff.
Recently, I mentioned to a friend that I thought I might have a vitamin deficiency. When he asked me why, I explained how tired I felt all the time, how it didn't matter if I slept 4 hours or 12, how every day I needed at least 4 cups of caffeine just to make it through the afternoon. His response? "You don't have a vitamin deficiency. You have two kids under the age of 5 and you still try to do everything you used to do before you had kids."
It's true, I guess. I refused to stop living my life when I had children, so that means that I somehow had to figure out how to squeeze in the raising of 2 human beings into an already pretty full life. Date nights dancing 'til 5, working out at least 4 times a week, reading the stack of novels on my night stand, hanging out with girl friends, spending quality time with my family, a full-time teaching career, general household duties....all of this has to be smushed in with turning two little boys into happy, wonderful grown men (and enjoying it while I'm doing it!).

There is a lot of good stuff in my life. Adventures, activities, and play. There are a lot of wonderful people around me who need (and to whom I want to give) my attention. When I am advised to "cut back" or to "do less," I can not find one thing that I am willing to give up. All of it makes me a happier, more fulfilled person. All of it is required for me to feel like Me. And to be honest, there is a whole list of things and activities (writing courses! mountain biking! girlfriend night outs! belly dancing classes! play dates!) that I wish I could add to my Must-Do's.

But sometimes it all gets to be too much. Even the good stuff.

This week has been one of those weeks. I have nothing to really complain about: I had an amazing weekend "away" with Hubby, my 4-year-old had a successful and relatively painless surgery, my students completed their state tests. But I feel spent. Burnt out. Raked over coals. I feel like the noise and the chatter and the excitement and life in general is drowning me. I feel out of sorts and I just want everything and everyone to stop.

Stop the world; I want to get off.

But I don't have "people." I can't tell anyone to "take me off the books." And the truth of the matter is, I don't think I'd really want to. I like the stuff my life is filled with. I like the people I'm surrounded by. I like planning and doing and playing. It's what makes all the hard stuff easier. And so, I guess, Khloe and I have more than our weight issues in common...we both sometimes fidget with all the attention, but we can't really get enough of it.


  1. I know exactly what you mean. I have lots of hats to wear so lots of demands on my time and I don't want to give stuff up and rest is what i end up cutting out

    A good supplement can still help lots though

  2. I have a soft spot for Khloe, too! I would have been excited to see them.

    And hey, a vitamin can't hurt, can it?

  3. I feel you. I'm glad you aren't going anywhere, but I completely understand the urge. It's why I schedule and anxiously await weekends where I do nothing, and I mean nothing. It's so refreshing.

  4. I am a first time visitor to your blog and I love it already! I sometimes find myself watching the Kardashians (usually when it is time to go to sleep and I have a few minutes before lights out) and their lives, besides all the drama, seem so easy. I, however, am right with you on the two-kids-full-time-career-husband life. It is wonderful and fulfilling and exhausting. Looking forward to reading more!

  5. I think that becoming a parent has made me more of a hermit than I used to be. I like that, though.

  6. Hi Liz....have to tell you that it brightens up my day when I see you have written a post....and this one was no exception :)

    Those crazy Kardashian girls are my secret guilty pleasure, I am fascinated by them, by that crazy Mom of theirs, by Bruce....and yes, I have a soft spot for Khloe too! I am glad I can confess it here....I thought when I saw the photo you have used of them, you were going to tell me how awful they were....I feel much better about myself now I know you are a sort of fan too!! I hope that makes sense!

    I so get how it is impossible to "drop" anything from your life - because those are the things that make you you and without which life wouldn't be as rich. It's really difficult finding that balance isn't it.

    I hope that you can find a tiny bit of quiet time or alone time this week-end for yourself.

    Happy Friday! xo

  7. Wow this is perfect. Just perfection. You are like a fine wine, my friend. (And no, I'm not saying you're old...)

  8. I love this post because I can so so relate. My life right now is stuffed to the gills with good things and good people and I am so tired, so spent. But happy. I too rely on coffee and have a hard time taking myself off the books. I wish we could blame this on a lack of vitamins, but it is far more complicated, right? We want it all. And we go for it. And in the going for it, in the dreaming and living and being who it is we are, we enter this exquisite state of exhaustion. And it is exquisite. But so beyond exhausting.

    (I love how this post is woven with bits serious and superficial. As you know, I think our pools of life should have both deep and shallow ends!)

  9. I read US Weekly too - voraciously. So there.
    And yes, I know the way you feel. JUST LET ME OFF. And I love the way you mix the Kardashians with deep thinking about how exhausting this life is. That's my kind of lady.

  10. I was just looking at that copy of US Weekly at the grocery store. The line was really long so I read most of it there...oops! And, then put it back in the rack.

    I know how you feel. Some days, I just want to crawl back in bed. Then I realize no I want to... fill in the blank.

    Let me tell you this about two kids under four - take either your prenatal vitamins still or a good women's multi-vitamin with iron. I have a good friend who is a health fanatic. He has been feeling very run down lately. Grabbed his wife's vitamin with iron a couple days in a row and realized he felt less run down. He just wasn't getting enough iron most likely.

  11. Who are the Kardashians? I've never heard of them.

  12. I also have too many things to realistically fit in any schedule, and I can't really figure out why because I don't work outside of my house! And I love to mix the superficial with the serious, intellectual stuff, as a matter of fact, my People magazine just arrived...

  13. Yeah, I have a rabid addiction to all those magazines, because, frankly, you can only take too much of the "good stuff" before cracking.

    I totally understand the "hey, thanks for the ride, but I wanna get off NOW" feeling. You are right, all those things make me happy, and when it is too much, I just nap with the littlest Peanut!

    I have also learned to say NO...which is no easy thing for us Cuban bred girls! I have learned to discriminate among choices, and will eventually replace old activities with new ones as the kids get older.

  14. Wouldn't it be nice if we all could just get off the ride for a bit. Take a little break. Get re-energized. Then resume where things left off? Knowing that this is indeed quite impossible, I hope for you a week that is slightly less exhausting. I think we all could use one.

  15. They're such a waste of time and television.

  16. I don't quite know who they are (I know I live under a rock!). But I can so relate to having a hiatus - I think we all deserve one - NOW!

    PS - you've been tagged over at mine.

  17. I want PEOPLE!! My son is not adjusting well to the daylight savings time change so I'm getting even less sleep than usual... I know exactly how you feel :) I hope you can catch a break and feel better... as pp said, a vitamin and a quick check in with a doc can't hurt either... my mom was feeling rundown and it ended up being a thyroid problem... but wouldn't being able to get off the rollercoaster for a week or two be heavenly... found you on SITS and rambling due to excessive lack of sleep :)


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