Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The First Day

I was not prepared.

I bought all of the supplies.

Attended the meet-and-greet.

Packed their backpacks.

Reviewed shoe-tying.

Charged the camera battery.

Woke up extra early.

But I was not prepared.

On that first day

when I had done it all

checked it all off the lists

made sure we were all ready

I was not prepared.

I was not prepared for the pain

of the realization

that I was leaving my littlest one


for the first time


in a school

without his brother.

I was not prepared for the onslaught

of memories brought upon

by a moment captured on film:

a big brother helping a little brother

find his cubby

tuck his lunchbox

begin his day

exactly as he, himself, had done once

on his first day at the same little school.

With it came the sudden awareness

of the passing of time

the acknowledgement, for the first time,

that it is true

what they say:

they grow up too fast.

I was not prepared for the look of panic

fleeting and barely noticeable

but definitely there

in that second

just as we left.

I was not prepared for the sobs that choked me

shocked me

the whole way from one school to the next

where it started all over:

more shock, more tears

all my own.

I was not prepared for the swell of pride

unexplainable, almost.

After all, I had never been one of Those Mothers

and really, it was "just kindergarten"

and certainly, yes, a day of note, but of pride?





I was not prepared for this feeling

that I was a mother

more than ever before

in that insignificant moment:

a nametag found and pinned

a bookbag draped over a chair

a boy

my boy


finding his seat

in kindergarten.


  1. What a beautiful post. I hope your guys have a great year!

  2. I'm bawling. M. starts kindy next week and I'm already a mess. So glad it was a good day!

  3. Awwww...you got me all teary! Wonderful post!

  4. I know.

    Overwhelming, emotional, full of pride and joy...

    I know.

  5. What a beautiful poem about the first day of school. Thanks for letting me relive my boys' first days!

  6. Okay...now I am crying. Because the tot started pre-K this year and next year he has kindergarten and I think I will freak out. Hope it went well? He looks excited!


Comments rock...