What I Really Want for Mother's Day: My Life, in Lists

1. A chef (doesn't even have to be a really good one; just one that will take care of "What are we eating tonight?")
2. An assistant to take care of all of the To-Do's that drive me absolutely insane in my day-to-day life
3. A pair of peep toe Christian Louboutins
4. To lose 5 pounds magically overnight
5. A magic cream that will erase the suddenly-drooping eyelids and neck (WTF happened after I turned 38?!?)
6. A pair of perfectly fitting and comfortable blue jeans
7. A perfect, 90 degrees and sunny, blue skies, clear water beach day
8. A longer summer
9. My boys to bicker less
10. To find the perfect shade of fluorescent (but not too fluorescent) pink nail polish
11. Someone else to scrub the bathrooms (I would add "mop the floors" too but Hubby did that today after little one puked all over)
12. At least a week with no fevers, no "my tummy hurts", no "my head hurts," and no puke
13. Sleep...blissful, dead-to-the-world, no-alarm, no-calling-for-Mommy-or-Daddy-in-the-middle-of-the-night, wake-up-when-I-feel-like-it sleep
14. A personal trainer
15. My knees to behave so I can run again
16. A new computer (and someone to completely set it up, move all my files, and reset my iTunes library)
17. More time (and energy) to write
18. A 3rd annual Mother's Day on the beach with decent weather, children who don't bicker or whine or cry or complain of salt water in their eyes, and no dysfunctional or awkward family interactions
19. My boys to make me feel really, really, really special
20. A tiny and charming condo, apartment, or shack on the beach...any beach, but preferably Hawaii
21. My hair to grow back to its original mane of long beachy blond waves (if that's too much to ask, then can this short little mop just behave?)
22. A bikini wax that doesn't hurt
23. A stand up paddle board
24. The return of the neighborhood video rental store
25. More patience (especially with the kids)
26. A case of straight-from-France wine
27. My husband's perspective on life
28. Babysitting