When your littlest goes to kindergarten

when your littlest goes to kindergarten

you can't pretend

anymore

that you are the mother

of a baby

 

there are no more preschool shows

or napping blankets to pack on Monday mornings

 

the diapers and the bottles

you barely remember

 

pacifiers

used to be such a concern:

Will he ever outgrow it?

and now

you don't remember the color

his used to be

 

now it is real kid school

 

he has to go

 

it is no longer a choice

made by parents

who need to work

who want their baby

to socialize

learn

play

get ready

for kindergarten

 

now it is for real

 

the littlest one

wears a uniform

packs a backpack

needs folders

pencils

and has real homework

 

you drop him off

and he is expected

to walk into that big school

find his classroom

sit in his line

wait for his teacher

 

he comes back to you

in a little yellow bus

 

he loves the bus

 

you love that he loves it

but

you can't even entertain the fear

that little yellow bus

stirs

 

you drop him off

and you are expected

to go to work

go about your day

and know that he is all right

 

he is learning

in the most capable hands

he is playing

with new friends

he is growing

 

and you

can not believe

that his backpack

is

almost

bigger

than

he

 

when your littlest goes to kindergarten

you are no longer

the mother

of a baby