I think I might be a mermaid

"I don't know why I'm so happy today."
"Because you spent the last two days on the water." 

My husband had, as usual, pointed out the obvious. I hadn't even made the connection.

We spent the whole weekend on or near water. Saturday, we participated in (get this) a local cardboard boat race. We spent the morning at a marina, along with several other local families, building and decorating boats made out of nothing more than cardboard, duct tape, and lots of imagination. When it was our turn, I thought surely the boat we had constructed, The S.S. Ohana, would either buckle, tip over, or immediately sink.

But, nope...much to our surprise (and admittedly, glee), the Ohana stayed afloat as we paddled not one, but four laps, and won 1st place for Overall Design and 2nd place for People's Choice (I'm sure it didn't hurt that we had a small mob of friends and family cheering for us).

The boys lifted those trophies in the air with such pride, you would have thought they were Superbowl tropies. By the time we left, we were all sunburned, salty, and soaked.

Sunday we woke up early and spent the day on our friends' boat. I couldn't believe that in spite of being major beach bums and living near the water our whole lives, we had never spent the day on the water like that. Our friends must have thought we were pretty ridiculous: I took pictures as if I were a tourist on vacation, we oooohed and aaaaaahed at every sight, and the four of us couldn't stop grinning all day. At one point, we were speeding along the intracoastal ("Go fast! Go fast!" the boys would chant) and I was sitting up front. The wind was so strong, if I turned my head, my sunglasses would fly off. The boys were up on the bow, their long surfer dos blowing like lions' manes. Hubby was back by our friend, who was driving. One of my favorite Kenny Chesney songs was blaring. I looked back at Hubby, who flashed me a very satisfied grin, and the look on his face reflected exactly what I was feeling: pure, absolute joy.

It didn't matter that the skies were a little overcast or that the water at the sandbar where we docked to swim was a little chilly. All that mattered was that feeling: I wasn't worried about bills or cleaning the house or what I was going to cook for dinner that week. There was no room in my head for the silly and not-so-silly anxious thoughts that so often plague me (or should I say with which I plague myself?). They were all pushed out by the wind and the music and the feeling of being on the water.

I have always loved the ocean...the beach is where my soul is happiest. It's funny how I had this feeling of contentment last night and didn't initially realize it was because of how I had spent my weekend. Life is, even during the best of times, busy and hectic. It's easy to fill your weekends with errands, must-do's, home projects, and hours on the couch with mindless TV because you're too tired to do anything else. The days are long but life is short. And if you're not careful, you spend too much of it getting things done rather than really living. We measure the quality of our lives within the constraints of our achievements: promotions, raises, bigger houses, better cars, nicer landscaping, those last 5 pounds... But I'm pretty sure the greatest achievement is a life filled with as many moments like the ones I lived this weekend: playing, laughing, feeling free. I refilled my soul this weekend...
...with a little salt water.

Even the sweet ones will flip you the bird, apparently - Throwback Thursday

The boys are pretty good lately. They are (almost) easy. They are doing their homework (almost) without reminders. They don't fight (too much). They are even getting up for school (most days) without even one sleepy grumble. But going back and reading an old post like this one keeps me from feeling too smug... It's hard to believe that this deliciousness once shot me the bird, huh?

When Your Kid Flips You the Bird

This post was originally posted here on September 24, 2013

(I didn't even realize I wrote this EXACTLY 2 years today until I went back just now!)

Isn't it ironic?

That's what Alanis said, right? Yeah, life's like that sometimes.

It was just last night, for example, that I reread an old blog post entitled "Sometimes I Don't Like My Kid." It's my most popular post, stats-wise. I was chuckling (out loud) about how much easier Ben has gotten since that post...about how I could barely remember that feeling of really disliking my own kid and thinking that perhaps his behavior was out of my control...that feeling of wondering to myself: Who the F is this kid and why is he pulling this kind of shit?!? (Chuckle, chuckle.) It was sooooo long ago. (Snicker.) I was such a new, inexperienced mother. (Tee-hee-hee.)  My kid has since gotten himself under control (most days). I barely remember that feeling!

Yes, that was me, last night, chuckling away. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ha.

And I suppose it was just that sort of cocky guffawing that got the Universe a little amused with me and decided: Oh yeah?

And so today, upon picking up my younger son at school, the son who is (supposedly) the more angelic one of the two (as if!), the one who tends to hide behind my legs in new settings, the one who is always described by others as "sweet," "marshmallow-like," "quiet," and "such a good boy," I was told he punched not one, but two, of his friends. Punched! One lucky friend got it in the stomach. The other, right on the cheek.

Apparently, it pays to be known as the sweet, marshmallow-like, quiet, good boy, because neither the teacher nor the bus driver did much more than admonish.

Mommy, on the other hand, made up for both of those suckers who have been fooled by his cherub face, dimpled cheeks, and Sponge Bob eyeglasses.

Once The Talk had been had and The Consequences had been determined, we went about our afternoon of homework, homework, and more homework, with a little bit of dinner sprinkled in.

It happened somewhere in between the dinosaur chicken nuggets and the homework completion: my baby flipped me the bird.

Knowingly.

Like, for real.

Before you jump to the conclusion that Hubby and I are typical Miami drivers and flip the bird on a regular basis as part of our commute, I can honestly say that not only have I never shot a bird in front of my kids, the bird is not even my expletive of choice. For one thing, it's not an expletive at all: it's silent. And if you know me, you know I'm anything but. I'm more of a loud F-bomb kinda girl. (And before you get all excited and eager waiting for the blog post to come in which one of  my kids loudly drops an F-bomb, I'll have you know that being a teacher instills in you an almost superhuman-like ability to not curse in front of children.)

So where, then, did my five-year-old learn how to appropriately and accurately use Mr. Tall Man?

Of course...his (not much) older brother.

And where, then, did my eight-year-old learn it?

Duh. School, of course!'

So there I was again: wondering who the F is this punching, bird-flipping, bully of a kid and why is he pulling this kind of shit?!?

Of course, when I filled in my husband on the afternoon's events, he chuckled quite audibly, and immediately asked: "So there's a blog post in there somewhere, right?"

I was already typing as he asked.

*Note to self: If you happen to reread this blog post in a few years, do NOT chuckle, especially if the boys are behaving themselves.

*****************************************************

Lesson learned...No chuckling here!!

You are ten

I remember

that quiet solitary moment in the hospital

when everyone had left

I was left

with you

in my arms

your eyes were open

you were looking at me

and I didn't really understand

but I knew there was one thing

I could tell you

for sure:

that you were a lucky baby

that you had the coolest father

the best dad

of that

only

I was sure

you had this smell

I still remember it

I have no idea what it was

why you had it

but your brother never did

and I have never smelled it since

it was not baby cologne

or baby powder

it was

simply

you

it smelled like being born

purity

clean

earth

this smell

we still talk about it

remember it

your daddy and I

it has been ten years

ten

you came into our lives

some crazy psychic once said

you were a special soul

you drive us crazy

often

and

intensely

but there is

this special bond

an awareness

that there is something

different

about

you

you

single-handedly

changed me, him

us

one decade

The baby

the one who had waited

to come when it was time

the only one who could have

filled the space

that we were not sure

even needed

filling

and I am still

not sure

we could even come close

to being worthy

of being chosen

by you

The Last Stop: Charlotte, NC for Dave Matthews Band Concert

"No, Daddy, I don't want to sit. I want to stand the whole time so I can prove that I'm ready for pit next time." (That was Ben.)

"I'm going to wear my new DMB hat and tshirt to my birthday party so all my friends know I went to the Dave concert." (That was Kai.)

So I think we can count our last stop in Charlotte for the boys' first Dave Matthews Band concert as a success.

Everyone who knows us knows we are huge Dave fanatics, as evidenced here, here, and (the one that started it all) here. We look forward to our annual weekends away in Tampa and West Palm, and it's gotten to the point where friends don't even ask to tag along because, as one friend put it, it's like a "religious experience for you guys." So when the boys asked us last year to take them, we were very hesitant. Not only was it going to be expensive, but the shows are 3 hours long and let's be honest, this is not Lady Gaga or Justin Timberlake. There are no fireworks or costumes or dance routines. And what about all the drunk and/or high people? Were we going to have to spend most of the concert shielding their eyes or diverting their attention? And I will admit that we were not jumping at the idea of giving up one of our "Just Us" annual concerts. (I know, selfish parents.)

We decided that rather than take them to one of our sacred Florida shows, we would find one along the route of this trip. And although they were excited, we assured them beforehand that it was okay if they got bored or tired or didn't like the show; we would not be disappointed or give them a hard time. (In fact, we even told them we would give them our phones to play games!)

Well, did we completely underestimate these kids! Angry Birds was not requested even once.

Aidan Kai, who we were sure would be the least into it, begged for a hat and wore it the whole show (and has worn it with his pajamas for most of the 15 hour drive home today). He repeatedly asked for the binoculars and used them with a great intensity on his little chubby face. He would grab me or Daddy over to him and squeeze us, his face all scrunched up against ours, watching and swaying.

Ben actually had 2 of his 3 favorite songs played, and he recognized them and sang along with some of them. He insisted on standing the whole time to prove his pit worthiness. And at one point I spotted him doing some air guitar and air drums.

I couldn't get as many pictures of Ben because he was over in his own "space" and didn't like to be bothered too much during the experience...ah, Mama's boy for sure.

Both of them woo-hooed and clapped and threw their arms up in the air when the songs were over. Those two actually stood the whole three hours, never once complaining about the noise, the lights, the seats, or the ridiculous heat.

And every single person around us was so over-the-top nice and accomodating: people would move over so they could see better, come over and tell the boys they had the "coolest parents," high five and fist bump them when a good song came on... "Your boys are rockstars," one guy declared as he walked past us on his way out.

The truth is it didn't matter to us whether they loved it as much as they did or not. They asked to go, and we wanted to "show them" what this was all about for us. All we care about is that they find things in life--be it a band, a sport, a cause--that they are passionate about, that brings them sheer joy, like this music does for us. And, hopefully, watching us and everyone around us grinning and dancing and hollering will have taught them a little bit more about that.

So because the band never plays the same setlist, you never know what you're going to hear (which is why so many of us go to multiple shows each year). And last year, I had so wanted to hear one particular song, but they didn't play it during any of the concerts we attended. Last night, it was the first song of the encore. And as we stood there, all huddled up, our boys jamming on the seats next to us, listening to the lyrics, we felt like it was the perfect grand finale for our trip:

"...See you and me

Have a better time than most can dream

Have it better than the best

So we pull on through

Whatever tears at us

Whatever holds us down

And if nothing can be done

We'll make the best of what's around

Turns out not where

but who you're with that really matters..."

Stop 9: Rodanthe, Outer Banks, NC (again!)

"I just love the ocean, but I only get to visit it once a year."

That was Samantha, the 9-year-old girl from Virginia with whom the boys played during this second round in Outer Banks. She made this declaration to me, out of nowhere, a wistful and dramatic expression on her face, right before she jumped back into the waves with her boogie board.

I can't imagine.

I could barely function without the ocean after just a few days..!

Once again, I am reminded of how lucky we are to be going back home to a house that is close enough to the beach that we can ride our bikes there. Fortunately, all four of us feel that way. When we decided to skip Niagara Falls and return to Outer Banks, I was a bit worried that we were making a mistake. What if we regretted it? How could we pass up a new, amazing place like Niagara to go back to a beach place we have already been twice? But everyone was so happy and relaxed, that I knew we had made the right decision for us.

This time around, we kept the boys off of their surfboards and in very shallow waters just to play it safe. Being from Florida, shark attacks are not such a rarity, but 8 in a small area in a month was a bit more than even we were willing to gamble. The boys spent most of their time on the boogie boards riding perfectly rolling waves in knee to ankle deep water, or on their skim boards tearing up the shore. Their newest buddy, the aforementioned Samantha, was happy to join in on the fun.

There was general silliness and organized summer play:

Water balloon fight!

Check out what we can do in the hot tub!

Parachute games organized by the on-site counselors

We went back to our favorite restaurant/kite boarding spot from last time, and think we might have found Aidan Kai's future self in 15 years:

Long curly blond hair, tall socks, and glasses...too cute.

This time I was the one who got sick, so we definitely had to lay low a little bit, especially at night, but we were happy to return to our place of bliss.

Next stop: Charlotte, NC for the boys' first Dave Matthews Band concert!

Stop 8: Charlottesville, Virginia

If the last post served as evidence of our badass-ness, then this post serves as evidence of our total and complete dork-ness. We made a bit of a Dave Matthews Band pilgrimage to Charlottesville. Granted, we needed a midpoint to stop and rest before we continued, but it surely was not coincidence that we chose the town where the band was formed, first played, and (the biggie) where Dave Matthews has his own vineyard.


It was a good thing we were not planning on staying long, because the campground we were in was completely and totally claustrophobic. It was sold out due to the July 4 weekend, and the sites were so cramped, that I felt like you could bump someone's camper if you opened your slide-out. And let's just say that most of the people there were really ready to celebrate the good ol' U.S. of A. We had to run the a/c fan all night in order to drown out the noise of everyone around us. Fortunately, we ended up being there only one night. (Although after a 15-hour-drive to get there from New Hampshire, Hubby really did not need anything to help him sleep.)

As soon as we woke up the next morning we drove to the vineyards, passing by the famous Trump Winery, and headed straight to Blenheim, the one that Dave Matthews owns. I will say, in our defense, that the winery has such great reviews that they do not even need to use his name. You wouldn't know it is owned by someone famous unless you were a dork like us, or looked into its history. I had read the kids the riot act before arriving: threatening them with a very long time-out at our next stop if they so much as breathed wrong. Fortunately, they did not disappoint. They played cards most of the time and were perfect.

Picture this face playing poker with a cigar instead of a candy in 20 years?

We did a wine tasting in the gorgeous tasting room and then bought a bottle to enjoy out on the terrace, overlooking the vineyards. We then spent a nearly exorbitant amount of money on the best souvenirs of the trip: lots of wine bottles, shirts, and stickers for the RV. The only way I could have been happier is if there had been a beach nearby and/or the band members had made a guest appearance.

The view from the second floor down into the wine room

Wine tasting!

Outside patio

So we could almost justify that portion of our pilgrimage, because, after all, lots of people go to the vineyards. But then we went into downtown Charlottesville to see the 2 buildings only Dave Matthews Band fanatics will appreciate: the original Warehouse and Miller's. The Warehouse is where they played their first paid performance, and the name of their fan club and of one of their songs. Miller's is where Dave Matthews tended bar and met some of the other band members and formed the band. We took some pictures at both spots and had some really good burgers at Miller's. 

The Warehouse

Miller's--some music history and good food

We decided to pack it up and get back on the road as soon as we made it back to the campground. We drove through a rainbow and a ferocious storm for about 3 hours to stop at a Walmart for the night (a first!). Although I knew many Walmarts allow overnight free parking for campers and trucks, I was still surprised to find three other RVs set up there for the night. After a month of traveling (and some cold days and nights), we are ready for our 5 day (repeat) stop at OBX for some bliss (no sharks, please).

This stop at Charlottesville was such a frivolous, fun day. I'm lucky that I'm married to someone who understands the passion I have for this band and their music, and even feels the same way. It was the sort of day I could only have shared with him, and that is certainly something I will raise my glass to...Cheers!

Charlottesville, check!

Stop 7: Loon Mt., New Hampshire

My kids are badasses.

This is not motherly bias.
It is fact.
And I don't mean sorta-brave, tough little boys.
I mean full-fledged, no-fear badasses. 
If I had better wi-fi, I'd upload a couple of videos here instead of pictures to truly prove it, but unfortunately, I am dealing with campground/on-the-road/in-between-mountains kinda internet service. I'll be lucky if I can get this post completed at all.

We went to Loon Mountain Adventure Park in Lincoln, New Hampshire. And I admit I thought perhaps this side trip to NH was a little unnecessary since we were no longer going to continue on to Canada, and really, how good could this park be that we are going to spend nearly $300 to climb some trees and swing from some ziplines? Well, once again, Hubby proves that he is The Man when it comes to research and planning, because it was one of our best days of the trip. The park is a ski resort in the winter and is converted to an adventure park in the summer. It has activities like mountain biking, rock climbing walls, a log maze, bouncing bungees, and gondola rides up to the summit where you can explore caves. But the main attractions are the Aerial Forest, where you climb and traverse along ropes and bridges suspended anywhere from 9 to 40 feet in the air; and the Ziplines, where you zip 750 feet across the Pemigewasset River.

We arrived when it opened and did not leave until closing time. Four of the hours were spent in the air and in the trees in the Aerial Forest. There were various levels, but I was pretty shocked by some of the stuff on the two easiest courses. When we first got there, we were most apprehensive that Aidan Kai, our 6-year-old, was going to freak out and we would have spent all that money for this ticket for nothing. He kept saying that his heart was “beeping” really hard in his chest. Once we were taught how the safety harnesses worked and how to clip in and out of the different ropes along each platform, we were set free to play on our own. (There were employees on the ground that you could call for help, but once you started, you were on your own.) Both Ben and Kai got the hang of it faster than I did, in spite of the fact that I had done some ropes stuff in the past. And as for Kai’s “beeping heart”….that kid did not hesitate once. I will admit that there were two times I was so intimidated, I wanted to cry (literally), and probably would have chickened out if the boys had not been there. At one point, I stood on this platform that was who knows how many feet up in the air, trusting that these two harnesses were going to stop my fall if I messed up, and faced a trapeze-like swing, which was the only way to get across and onto the other platform. I was terrified. But what could I do? If I chickened out first, the boys would never try it after me. If I let the boys go first, I’d be scared for them and wouldn’t be able to let go of the fact that I couldn’t do something my 6-year-old could. So I did it. And it was way more fun and less scary than it had looked.

One of the platforms in between the ropes

Badass Ben

Badass Kai on the trapeze thing

 

The original badass

After the ropes course, we went over to the infamous Zipline. I had done ziplining before while on vacation in Hawaii, so I knew what to expect. What I had not realized, however, was that when you are a mom and you are placing your children’s lives in the hands of some mechanisms and people you don’t know, it is very, very scary. Those two little ones climbed the steps of those towers, stepped onto the platform, looked down at the river, and ran off and jumped without a second’s hesitation. And rather than hold on (for a false sense of security, really) to the yellow lanyard attached to the harness (which I did—with a death grip--on my first zip), Aidan Kai waved at us and arched backwards, arms and legs extended, and Ben flapped like a bird and then flipped himself upside down. I have always loved this sort of stuff, and never gave it much thought when traveling back in the Before Kids Days, but it is a whole new level of stress when you have your kids doing these things.

A portion of the zipline over the river

The first shorter tower where we jumped off of for the zipline

After the stressfully thrilling first half of the day, we spent the rest of it bouncing and climbing and riding up to the summit, playing in the glacial caves at top, and beating the kids in a "friendly" maze race.

It was an awesome day, and worth every penny and drop of (my) terror-induced sweat. This was the sort of stuff that we would talk about when they were babies: doing fun things with them as a family as they got older and could do more. Watching the boys (especially Kai, who has historically been the one to panic at the last minute with activities) go out there and have fun, learn how to do scary things safely and correctly, jump off those platforms and soar…it was just awesome. This was definitely a family day filled with adventure.

My family is badass.

New Hampshire, check!

  

Next stop: Charlottesville, Virginia.