I am a writer

I am a writer

always have been

I remember

when I was little

I did not covet

my sister's clothes

so much

it was 

her typewriter

I could not

get to it

fast

enough

Sometimes

it lies dormant

for whatever the reason

I can not

tend to it

and I think

Oh

It is done

I am good

that part of me

I've had enough

I've done enough

I'm good

Then

it comes back

it gnaws at me

I ignore it

push it away

scoff

ignore

eye roll

wait

it will recede

that feeling

but then the feeling

becomes a need

and I am

simultaneously

irritated and relieved

it's there

it won't go away

dammit

I have to write again

I am a writer

always have been

and so

I am back

begrudgingly

here I am 

unavoidable

you can only ignore

who you are

for so long