Saturday, January 2, 2010

I fought Sponge Bob and Sponge Bob won

I don't get Sponge Bob. The voices are incredibly irritating. The jokes are total toilet humor. And the damned sponge? Idiotic. Who makes this stuff up? How does someone say to a studio exec: "Hey, I have this great idea for a kid's show! There's this sponge, see? And he lives in a pineapple. But not like a regular pineapple out in a field. No, his pineapple is in the ocean. And the best part? The sponge wears pants!"

Ben was 3 when I officially lost the fight. Up until that point, my personal knowledge of children's television was incredibly limited. I knew Sesame Street, Little Einsteins, and had heard of the Wiggles but wanted no part of them. Imagine my delight when my kid introduced me to most of the others...

About 2 years ago:
Ben: "Hey Mama! Go back to that channel! That's Handy Manny. He speaks Spanish."
"Hey Mama! Go back! That's Lazy Town. Robbie Rotten's the bad guy."
"Hey Mama! Go back! That's Sponge Bob. I looooove Sponge Bob!"
Me: "Um, Ben? How do you know these shows?"
Ben: "I watch them at Grandma's house."

That was one of my first lessons in parenting: When your mother watches your kid for free, you lose some power in the Limits Establishing Department.

Of course, at that point, I had heard of Sponge Bob. But I refused to allow him into our house just yet. My kid was two! No way my 2-year-old would be watching anything that wasn't quality television (oxymoron, anyone?). After a simple explanation about some shows being for older children, Ben agreed to go back to a nice "educational" show featuring a red rocket and four very cultured little kids.

But I knew that Bob was getting snuck in on occasion at the Grandparents'.

It wasn't until Aidan Kai came around that I started to, ahem, soften up a bit on The Sponge... Aidan Kai, who, let us not forget, wailed the entire first four and a half months of his life... Aidan Kai, who, to this day will not let me use the bathroom without clawing at my knees and crying "Mama! Mama! Mama!"

It is amazing how one child can change things.
It is also amazing how many things one says one will never do when one is a mother until one is one.

About one year ago:
Aidan: "Waaaaah! Mama! Waaaah! Mama!"
Ben: "Hey Mama, wanna play pirates?"
Me: "Hey, Ben! Wanna watch Sponge Bob?"

"Hey Daddy! Check it out! Aidan Kai learned how to say something new! Listen!" (Points to TV) "Aidan, who's that?"
Aidan: "Spa Bob!"


  1. LOL! It does make you wonder about the people who are programming executives, doesn't it? They ought to have some kind of higher education, right? And this is the best that they could come up with...Sure helps in my quest for my kids to go to college...Glad to know that everything came up okay with the doctor...Sending you a big hug!

  2. LOL! Oh my list of My Child Will Never was so long and totally impossible to pull off! I don't care for Sponge Bob either - but it won't hurt them.

  3. Sponge bob was created by a Marine Biologist.
    The show has been running well over 10yrs. Frankly I can't stand any children's programming but like you I have lost the battle.

    All they need is to see this stuff just one time at someones else's house and they are hooked.

  4. Uh-oh. My two year old was just given a Sponge Bob hat and mittens set by my stepmother-in-law for Christmas. Does this mean I am about to slide down the slippery slope? :)

  5. Yeah... I'm really hoping that having a girl first will prevent that sponge from entering our house, like, EVER. But I thought the same about Barney, Elmo and the Wiggles too so... I'm sure I'll cave at some point. Especially if it means a half hour of peace and quiet!

  6. Believe it or not, my teens still put on Sponge Bob occasionally.

  7. Sponge Bob is never coming into our house. Mark my words. LOL.

  8. Yeah, free baby-sitting definitely brings a certain messiness. The Queen watched her first tv show through baby-sitting. She also had her first bite of ice cream. If I didn't freaking need a night out every now and then, I would probably opt to watch my own kids, thank you very much. Oh, well. But, just think! First Sponge Bob, then Hannah Montana! OOO the excitement! : )

  9. Oh boy. I really can't stand Spongebob at all either but you can bet my son can sing the whole theme song. It's lovely. :)

  10. my grandbaby loves Spongebob and the theme song is catch!
    stopping by frOm SITS

  11. Ha! I loooove Spongebob, even though I'm a wife now :D

    But no, I won't fight with you ;)

    Oh btw, the series is dubbed into Indonesian in our country, and the voice of Spongebob is cute, so I know nothing about the original voice :)

    I hope they still produce and air it when I finally have kids :D

  12. I have made it this far without having to learn Sponge Bog. Pray that it will not be a sacrifice I will have to make for the grandchild! LOL!

  13. Sponge Bob is still banned around know, except for those days when I'm really desperate.

  14. Miss D. has mad love for the Sponge. At least it's not as inane as Teletubbies. WTF is up with THAT show?

  15. Great post! I really hate sponge bob and will not be letting my kids watch it either!

    Just wanted to let you know about my button swap and the chance for your blog to be featured! Check it out:

  16. great blog i am following you and looking forward to reading more! I can not stand Spoge Bob and really don't like it when my daughter sees the show. My hubby does not mind, I don't know why I just find him so silly but stupid silly... not a good influence!

  17. poor spa bob. he's not allowed in our house. mainly because he lies a lot. however, if they were to do a spin off on sandy... then yes. we'd watch her.

    so what i'm saying is the karate violence is ok. but they lying is not. um. idk. it's about close to bedtime here...

    stopping in from sits.

  18. Oh, I cannot STAND Sponge Bob! And I've brainwashed my almost 4 yr old daughter too...if she' watching Nick and he comes on she yells to the other room 'mommmm, spongebob's on. Spongebobs's GROSS!' at which point I run in and change the channel! Ha!

  19. lol i hate that thing and so far my 1 year old not interested much in TV hhhehe...passed by from SITS

  20. Oh the dreaded TV. Love/Hate relationship with the darn thing over here. Love it for me. Hate it for them. Need it for them. And, of course, I wouldn't even be able to sit down and catch up with the blogging right now if it weren't for a new movie to watch. Yup, kids woke up and I plopped them in front of Ice Age. Add winter to my impatience and you get a whole shit ton of TV these days. It's horrible as much as it is life-saving.

    And what you said about things you thought or said you wouldn't do before you were actually a mom? Um, yeah. That subject warrants an entire article, or series of articles, or a BOOK!

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