My promise to myself for 2010 was to live lighter. This meant stress less, worry less, laugh more... I envisioned myself shrugging things off.
Here's the problem I'm already encountering, and it has not even been a full month yet: I am not a light person.
I'm more on the deep and heavy side.
It's who I am.
This means that I worry, I stress, I anticipate catastrophe. I overanalyze. I overreact. I panic.
This also means that I am loud. I am passionate. I am energetic. I like to live big, dream big, laugh big.
Hubby once told me, many many years ago: "Your highs are real high. But your lows are real low."
That's me. You can call me a lot of things, but moderate I am not.
Here's the conundrum: I like the high highs. I like the big, the over-the-top, the enthusiasm, the flair for the dramatic. I like the loud.
And with just as much passion, I hate the stress. The anxiety. The make-myself-crazy-side of my personality. About everything. About nothing.
I am not sure if there is an answer here, or even a point. I just know that I am totally and utterly exhausted from reminding myself, over and over again, to live lightly. It's really starting to weigh me down.