Every time I think about a possible blog post, I tell myself I'll do it tomorrow. Every time I psych myself up that I need to spend some time on here, I go do laundry. Every time I remember that I am not "writing enough," I turn on HGTV.
And every time this happens, an urgent, nagging little voice inside my head violently whispers: "What the fuck is wrong with you lately?"
I'm a writer. It's what I've done and who I've been since I was old enough to peck away at my older sister's typewriter, feeling very important and wise and creative and inspired.
Maybe that's the problem here.
How can I get inspired to write again? Where can I find the inspiration to miss my blog, to need to write?
Eureka! I've got it!
I thought I had hit the obvious jackpot when it occurred to me that I needed to go back to my favorite blogs, my favorite writers, the women who have inspired me all of these years since I had started my own blog. You see, not only have I not been coming here, to this space, to write; I have also not gone to anyone else's space to read.
I sat down today and started at the top of my personal blog roll of faves, and caught up with some of these old friends. But a startling thing happened....something that has never happened before.
Yes, I smiled as I revisited these favorite blogs. Yes, I read great stuff. Yes, they gave me important stuff to think about.
But that was it.
When I was done, I still didn't want to write.
In fact, I was almost...(my fingers literally hesitated over the keys just now because I feel like I'm selling out; not sure on who)...tired.
Instead of feeling re-energized and inspired, I felt tired.
Sounds like a bad poem.
I wrote a bad poem.
Does that count?