Wanna be my friend?

My friends had been harassing me for months about joining Facebook. "It's so fun!" they'd say. "What are you waiting for?" "Just try it!" "You're the only one not doing it, ya' know..."

Sounds like high school...all over again.

And I didn't really like high school the first time around.

I didn't even budge when pictures of a weekend getaway with friends were being held ransom on Facebook. Why can't you just show me the pictures? Oh, actual hard copies of photos are too last decade for you? Okay, how about you email them to me? Give me a CD? Make me a frickin' PowerPoint.

But alas, I gave in. Everyone told me I just had to be on Facebook now that I'm blogging. Fine. I begrudgingly joined. Everyone also told me that once I was on, I'd love it. "It's addictive!" "Don't you love it?!" "It's a whole new world!" I may be on Facebook but I'm still not into Facebook. Maybe I should not be admitting this publicly. Maybe I'm at risk of losing some of my newly acquired--and still quite tenuous--internet/blogging/techie credibility, but I just don't get it. For example, why is it that people who barely say "hello" to me at work are now suddenly asking to be my friends? People are popping out of nowhere..."requesting my friendship." Golly, gee, thanks, I'm flattered. (Not really.) It's like a competition...whose Friends List is the longest? I'm telling you, it's high school all over again...when we used to highlight the names of everyone we "knew" in the yearbook, even if we just sat near them in a class but never spoke a word to them, because the amount of highlighting in your yearbook was a testament to your social standing.

And can someone explain to me this phenomenon of "updating your status"? "Liz just woke up." "Liz is going to make dinner. " "Liz is preparing a bottle of formula." Do any of you really care WTF I'm doing at that exact moment? I know someone who was actually updating her status ("sitting at a bar with my girlfriends") while out with a bunch of us. Apparently, it is no longer enough to be really out with your friends, live and in person. We gotta hang out with our cyber friends simulataneously too. Now we are even multi-tasking in our relationships.

And really, are these relationships? Aren't we watering down the meaning of the word "friend"? If we're posting our pictures, our thoughts, and even our whereabouts online, how much time is left to actually socialize? (No, I don't consider Facebook to be socializing.) I mean, something's gotta give....even those of you who have lots of spare time (read: don't have children) are actually spending a great deal of yours online and simple math means that there is less of it left for The Real World.
I know, I know...you guys are gonna go straight to Facebook and delete me now, aren't ya?