My Life, in Lists: I'm thankful for...

When you ask fourth graders what they're thankful for, the answers will range from "my family" to "donuts."

Yesterday, my 44 students stood in a circle in the classroom, surrounding parents who had come to feast on pie and cupcakes and spend a few precious moments peeking into their children's school lives. And as these children shared their answers, I thought about how, if I were to be really honest, my responses would also range from the very big things to the donut-variety. Yes, health and family and shelter and enough money to pay the bills are certainly at the top of my Thanksgiving prayers this year, but then it's those little things that really make you smile and giddy in life.

I am thankful for...

1. Hubby (To quote a wise and hot man: "You will always be my 1, 2, and 3.")
4. My two little boys (because in spite of the fact that you drive me crazy and make my life that much more exhausting, it really is an honor to be your Mommy and know that you are little concoctions of Daddy and Me)
5. Healthy (and mostly kickin') parents who are still fun and kind and are practically my own personal babysitters
6. A cancer-free sister who is smiling again
7. The four-day weekend
8. The Christmas CDs are coming out
9. Red velvet mini cupcakes with cream cheese icing
10. My Girls (G, C, K: I love you guys)
11. Getting a copy of a book in the mail, opening it up, and seeing MY ESSAY IN IT!
12. Working with friends who always have my back and make me laugh
13. Living 20 minutes from some of the world's best beaches
14. Wine
15. Coffee
16. Beer
17. E! News
18. A nearly-healed plantar fasciitis
19. "Sex and the City" reruns
20. Really good books
21. Dave Matthews Band lyrics
22. Fresh air and sun
23. Christmas toy shopping nearly done
24. Finding a good therapist again
25. Effective migraine medication
26. Finding a boot camp class at the perfect time for my schedule that I do not have to pay extra for
27. Poetry
28. My Dearest Friend (B: I love you More Than That)
29. Fashion magazines
30. The feeling I get when I actually stop and concentrate on a deep, slow breath
31. Parents who tell me their children love to read or come to school because of me
32. Finally letting go of (most of) the angst, anger, and anxiety from my adolescence and twenties
33. The Birds of Paradise in my front yard
34. The pool in my backyard
35. Pizza
36. Everyone being healthy and here for Thanksgiving (I'll have to remember this one when some sort of inevitable dysfunctional situation occurs)
37. This blog, because it helped me remember who I was before I learned to censor myself
38. Sleep!

All the crazy sh*t running around in my head these days: My Life, in Lists

I am always a little hesitant to post one of my "Lists Series" entries, because over the last few months, Hubby has taken to snarkily smirking: "Let me guess: is it a list?" when I tell him I've blogged. He caught on (pretty much like the rest of you) that as my blogging became more and more sporadic, the List Series became more and more prevalent. It's not a cop-out. I swear. But, yes, it is easier than formulating a poignant but witty post in full prose. And I really do think in lists. I swear. So here it is...sorta stream-of-consciousness writing meets My Life in Lists series.

If you could look inside my head, here's what I've been thinking (or repressing):

1. I need to lose weight.
2. I need to meditate more.
3. I need to talk less.
4. I need to listen more.
5. I need to ask people more questions.
6. Technically, my sister doesn't have cancer anymore, but she's still really, really broken.
7. Will anyone in my family ever feel and act normal again?
8. I need to find another 50 Shades-type of book.
9. I need to read more smart stuff.
10. Why am I not into my blog anymore?
11. How am I going to be able to contain myself from sobbing audibly at my youngest son's preschool graduation next month?
12. Why can't they just stop growing?
13. I am so glad I took a picture of his hand dimples. They are nearly gone.
14. How come when one person goes through some really bad shit, it can bring you closer to them?
15. What if my friend gets a divorce, moves away, and I never see her again?
16. What's up with my suddenly cracked heels? Is this a new "forty-something thing"?
17. How come my 40th birthday trip to Vegas feels sooooo far away?
18. How come my 2 nights of babysitting for my anniversary last week feel sooooo far away?
19. Will I regret wishing my babies would grow up faster when they were little?
20. How can I truly enjoy, savor, relish, live every single second of their little kid-ness that's left?
21. Is it true that mothers of boys grow old alone?
22. Do grown men ever really want to take their mothers out to lunch?
23. Will my daughters-in-law hate me?
24. WTF has come over me as a mother lately?
25. I need to furnish the family room.
26. This cough is driving me fucking insane.
27. I need to be on Facebook less and back in the blogosphere more.
28. Do I drink too much?
29. Does alcohol really cause cancer?
30. Does my deodorant and super fantastic MAC makeup really cause cancer?
31. Does anything NOT cause cancer?
32. I can't believe I'm 40.
33. There are only forty-something days left of school until summer vacation.
34. Am I wasting my life by counting down school days until summer vacation every year?
35. How come I still love him this much after 13 years together? Will that shoe ever fall?
36. How many more "good years" does my dearest friend have left? How will I survive her passing when the time comes?
37. How many more "good years" do my parents have?
38. If I had to have chemo, I think I'd get a crew cut and dye it purple before it fell out.
39. I love my new tattoos.
40. I miss Paris.
41. Is it possible to be The Girl I Was In Paris here at home?
42. I loved that girl.
43. Thank God this winter has been hot as hell here.
44. I can't wear my new bikini until I lose 4 pounds, at least.
45. Fuck the four pounds. Life is too short. And a 31-year-old told me yesterday there was "absolutely no way" she believed I was 40.
46. I will not buy any more black clothing.
47. If it weren't for the FCAT, I'd still love my job.
48. Breathe more.
49. "I am responsible for the energy I bring to this space."
50. I have GOT to get better at being fully present.
51. I absolutely can not end a list like this with #50. It's too cliché.

Viva Las Vegas: My Life, in Lists

"Let's go to Vegas for my birthday!"

The idea was born, about a year and a half ago, during a drunken afternoon on the beach on one of our babysitting days. Katy Perry's "Waking Up in Vegas" was playing on my iPod. It was a cheesy idea even from the beginning: all based on excess and tackiness and neon and glitter and loudness.

I loved it.

I wanted to wear a fancy dress, some killer stilettos, a tad bit of glitter eyeliner, hold a cocktail, and celebrate my 40th with Hubby and my closest friends in the loudest, brightest place on earth. My mini traveling party leaves tomorrow... A far-fetched idea that was born from a bad pop song and too much sun and booze, and it became reality. I can't wait. It's exactly what I (we) need right now.

So here are some of my birthday wishes for my big "Forty and Fucking Fabulous Birthday Bash:"

1. I want everyone to laugh. A lot.
2. I want to dance. A lot. (It'd be awesome if everyone else did, too, but honestly, I might end up as that girl who is dancing by herself with her eyes closed, oblivious to the rest of her group members.)
3. My heels won't hurt (that much).
4. I will get a lovely Vegas buzz going each night.
5. My lovely Vegas buzz will not turn into a horrid Vegas hangover the next morning.
6. The nightclub crawl tour we bought for Friday night will be more like the Vegas scenes of Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz in the "What Happens in Vegas" movie than like a bad 2012 version of a Chevy Chase vacation movie.
7. My group will do a shot together (or several)...hotel rooftop not required.
8. No one will slip a roofie into any of those shots.
9. I will not lose my camera.
10. I will not fall down.
11. I will not throw up.
12. We will stay up until at least sunrise at least one of the nights.
13. I will have sex. Lots of it.
14. I will remember the sex.
15. We will make it to the places on the itinerary, but I will not be so anal as to continue to insist on sticking to the itinerary.
16. I will enjoy whatever restaurant/bar/club I am currently in, and not worry about whether there's a better one somewhere out there on the strip and I am missing it.
17. I will not complain that my super-cute-but-possibly-too-thin-for-Vegas-winter-weather-coat is not warm enough.
18. I will not worry about my children, my sister, or the bar tab.
19. I will not worry about whether everyone else is having fun.
20. Everyone will have fun.
21. I will not reflect, ponder, wonder, resolve, or over-analyze anything heavy, major, important, or life altering for the duration of my trip.
22. I will not mentally check stuff off this list as they occur.

So raise your glass...here's a toast to my next decade...may it be a blast!
Cheers!

Things I've Been Doing Instead of Blogging: My Life, in Lists

1. Starting a new school year for my 1st grade little boy (I can't believe he's in 1st grade!)
2. Starting a new school year for my pre-k little boy (actual homework!)
3. Starting a new school year with my students (48 fourth-graders, to be exact)
4. Moving classrooms twice in a three-week period
5. Stressing about work and the general state of public education
6. Ignoring my broken computer
7. Trying not to stress about my broken computer
8. Having to face the reality that my computer is broken
9. "Writing" blog posts in my head
10. Stressing about the blog posts that are not making it into the blogosphere
11. Trying to lose the 8 pounds I gained over summer vacation
12. Realizing that as I approach 40, losing summer weight is not that easy
13. Waking up at 4:35 a.m. to make it to the gym (see #s 11 and 12)
14. Going to bed at 10:00 p.m. (see #13)
15. Entering the world of Soccer Mom (Soccer practices are how many times a week for a 6-year-old?!?)
16. Entering the world of tennis (how cute is a 4-year-old who actually asks to take "tennis classes"?)
17. Missing summer

The 4 of us for 8 days in a 20-year-old RV: My Life, In Lists

We spent 8 days traveling from nearly one tip of Florida to the other. Just the four of us. In one charming and slightly battered mobile home. Here are some of my lessons learned...

1. Going on vacation in an RV with two small children is not really a vacation at all. A vacation, in my mind, entails cocktails and reading by the pool and relaxing. This was more of an adventure. A really fun but really, really exhausting adventure.

2. Any time I open my mouth while anywhere north of the Disney World area will result in people commenting on my "accent" and asking me where I am from.

3. Revealing you are from Miami to anyone who lives north of the Disney World area in Florida will result in one of two very specific responses...either they shudder (in fear? anxiety? traffic phobias?) or they gasp in awe: "Why are you here, then?"

4. A squeaky dinette table hinge that was barely noticeable when you first purchased the used RV of your dreams will become Chinese water torture after a few hours (let alone 8 days).

5. Oil does not work on squeaky dinette table hinges.

6. Neither do paper towels or rubber tape stuffed into said hinges.

7.  When one goes swimming in South Florida, you tend to see cocktails by the pool area. In a swimming hole in the middle of nowhere, you see cans of dip.

8. A whining 3-year-old is not as annoying as a defiant 6-year-old.

9. A normal size bikini in Miami will be the smallest one on the campground beaches.

10. I am still waaaaay more afraid of lizards than of enclosed spaces: I was just fine checking out the stalagmites in the dark tight quarters of the Florida Caverns State Park (even when they mentioned bats), but the minute I heard "black salamanders that live down here" I nearly had a full-blown panic attack.

11. When traveling for more than 5 days in an RV, you  must pack a mani/pedi kit--even if you're "just camping."

12. Jack Johnson is the perfect soundtrack for a summer Florida road/camping trip.

13. Eating burgers and hot dogs around a campfire at the end of the day is awesome.

14. So is walking a mile down the beach to have shrimp and scallops at the nearest restaurant.

15. Watching your kids climb their first tree (in flip-flops, no less!) is exhilarating in the good way and the bad way.

16. I am still a little afraid of the dark, dark woods.

17. When your sweet, animal-loving 3-year-old asks to see "the dolphin with no tail" over and over again, you are willing to wake up at 2:00 a.m. to drive through the night in order to make it on time to the marine aquarium. (Thanks, Hubby.)

17. "Young" couples can only afford the banged-up mobile homes.

18. I sleep better in our RV than in a fancy hotel room.

19. Even children who love the outdoors and have been looking forward to a camping trip for months are seduced by the lure of the portable DVD player.

20. Even parents who don't really like the idea of a portable DVD player being packed for a camping trip are seduced by the lure of the possibility of "grown-up time" thanks to said DVD player.

21. Laundry is, apparently, quite exciting while on vacation.

22. Much like hotels, there are campgrounds, and then there are Campgrounds:


Adequate but small, dusty, and swarms of mosquitoes

Way bigger and only gnats, but still dusty

Just as big, no dust, no bugs and practically beachside

23. At some campgrounds, a 20-year-old RV will be the envy of all the tent campers. At some campgrounds, a 20-year-old RV will blend in just fine. At other campgrounds, you will hope that every one else is too busy watching their flat screen TVs or adjusting their satellite dishes to notice your 20-year-old RV chugging into its reserved spot.

24. Mold is not always green. Sometimes, it's white, and it can proliferate in a matter of hours given the right conditions.

25. The right conditions, apparently, exist in my RV kitchen cabinet.

26. White mold reeks.

27. I am way tougher than I thought I was, since I was the one who took care of reeking, white, proliferating mold without hesitation and with only minor (mostly) verbal complaints.

28. There is nothing like seeing your kid's dimply face light up when he catches his first wave on a boogie board.

29. My sense of adventure can override my sense of anxiety...at least when it comes to jumping into a 68 degree spring where I could see a foreboding-looking cave and slimy-looking grass from the diving board.

That's me and Ben holding hands...he had no issues jumping in (over and over again).

30. When you are the proud owner of a 20-year-old RV, expect things to go wrong. 

A $700-pit-stop for an ailing generator

31. I really love the outdoors.

 32. I really, really love the beach.



3 bike racers + 1 beach babe = 4 very happy people!

What I Really Want for Mother's Day: My Life, in Lists

1. A chef (doesn't even have to be a really good one; just one that will take care of "What are we eating tonight?")
2. An assistant to take care of all of the To-Do's that drive me absolutely insane in my day-to-day life
3. A pair of peep toe Christian Louboutins
4. To lose 5 pounds magically overnight
5. A magic cream that will erase the suddenly-drooping eyelids and neck (WTF happened after I turned 38?!?)
6. A pair of perfectly fitting and comfortable blue jeans
7. A perfect, 90 degrees and sunny, blue skies, clear water beach day
8. A longer summer
9. My boys to bicker less
10. To find the perfect shade of fluorescent (but not too fluorescent) pink nail polish
11. Someone else to scrub the bathrooms (I would add "mop the floors" too but Hubby did that today after little one puked all over)
12. At least a week with no fevers, no "my tummy hurts", no "my head hurts," and no puke
13. Sleep...blissful, dead-to-the-world, no-alarm, no-calling-for-Mommy-or-Daddy-in-the-middle-of-the-night, wake-up-when-I-feel-like-it sleep
14. A personal trainer
15. My knees to behave so I can run again
16. A new computer (and someone to completely set it up, move all my files, and reset my iTunes library)
17. More time (and energy) to write
18. A 3rd annual Mother's Day on the beach with decent weather, children who don't bicker or whine or cry or complain of salt water in their eyes, and no dysfunctional or awkward family interactions
19. My boys to make me feel really, really, really special
20. A tiny and charming condo, apartment, or shack on the beach...any beach, but preferably Hawaii
21. My hair to grow back to its original mane of long beachy blond waves (if that's too much to ask, then can this short little mop just behave?)
22. A bikini wax that doesn't hurt
23. A stand up paddle board
24. The return of the neighborhood video rental store
25. More patience (especially with the kids)
26. A case of straight-from-France wine
27. My husband's perspective on life
28. Babysitting

Twenty-Five Reasons Why a Girl Who Loves Jane Austen Can Also Love Fifty Shades of Grey: My Life, in Lists

 1. You go a lot faster and a lot longer on the stairmaster if you're reading it.

2. You have a whole new perspective--and appreciation--for elevators.

3. And silver ties.

4. Suddenly, women everywhere are considering "dirty" sex as a not-so-dirty-thing.

5. Every woman wants to spend some time with a hot guy who is completely enraptured by her, gets aroused just looking at her, and wants to give her the world.

6. It gives you great stuff to talk about with your girls (and, if you're lucky, your husband).

7. It might propel you to try something you've never done before.

8. Floggers and handcuffs and crops...oh my!

9. Toys no longer seem like a bad idea, a threat, or icky to women everywhere.

10. Women who would never have set foot in a sex shop are suddenly flocking to them for girls' night out (or at least secretly ordering online).

11. You get a crash course in classical music.

12. Book Two.

13. It makes women think about sex, and when women think about sex, their partners get more of it, and when their partners get more of it, the relationship gets better.

14. It brings you in touch with your inner goddess.

15. It will make you rethink using that extra room as a playroom for the kids.

16. After a whole day thinking about deadlines and/or lunchboxes and/or laundry and/or bills and/or groceries and/or sippy cups and/or running the world, it's nice to just stop and think about sex (and romance, of course).

17. It reminds women that it's totally okay to be sexual.

18. It serves as evidence that "kinky f*ckery" AND romantic, loving sex do not have to be mutually exclusive (and sometimes can even occur on the same day..maybe even in the same room!).

19. Women around the world are strengthening their pelvic floor muscles (courtesy of The Silver Balls).

20. It's making women speak honestly and openly (read: no shame) about sex.

21. You realize that the work day goes by much quicker when you are engaging in witty sexual banter via email (or at least text).

22. Because even though Anastasia Steele's lack of self esteem drove us crazy (a lot), we could all relate to it (at least a little), and we loved that when she needed to, she'd kick a guy in the crotch or jump on a jet ski.

23. It's a total escape from life.

24. So you can be in the know when everyone around you is saying stuff like "Laters, baby," and "We aim to please," and "My breath hitched."

25. It's fun!!!

My Life, in Lists: French Lessons

Was it really just four days ago that I was sitting in a hip little restaurant on the Champs-Ellysees, wearing my new Lanvin stiletto booties, yet another glass of Bordeaux in my hand, feeling oh-so-glamorous and gorgeous and relaxed, Hubby at my side? Seems impossible. I have spent the last 2 days recovering from jet lag, helping Hubby recover from a virus, and getting the kids recovered from a week-long of spoiling a la grandparent-style. I had to chuckle today when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror: hair frizzy and sticking out, bags under my eyes, not a lick of make-up, clutching another armload of dirty laundry. That certainly does not look like that woman who was strutting around Paris, all full of wine and cheese and anniversary sex...

When you have kids, reality sets in really, really fast.

But I can't complain one bit. In fact, I've literally laughed at the disparity of what my life has been in less than a week. The woman I was, for a few precious, indulgent days, and that mom I am the rest of the time. How lucky are we that we had it? How glorious those 7 days were...

Today I found myself singing "I Love Paris" under my breath as the kids were getting into yet another little piece of melodrama. That's the thing with vacations without the kids: you are a much better parent because of them.

But it wasn't all wine and cheese and shopping...I actually found Paris to be incredibly educational. Some of the lessons are silly and frivolous, but some have a little more power to change my everyday life, even if just a little bit, if I can remember them.

Little Lessons I Picked Up While in Paris:

1. The French no longer hate Americans. They are not snippy or unpleasant, even when you butcher their language. In fact, we found that just about every single person we dealt with went out of his or her way to understand, assist, and please us.
2. French women are not preoccupied with trying to look younger. They are just walking around, looking their ages and looking incredibly put together and effortless and simple.
3. You should always look put together. Even when buying a baguette for breakfast. Or walking your incredibly cute dog.
4. French dogs are waaaaaaay cuter than American dogs.
5. French kids are waaaaaaay better dressed than American kids.
6. French dogs and French kids are waaaaaaay better behaved than American ones. No joke. For real. It was astonishing. The only time we heard a kid yell was when we were having a picnic by the Eiffel Tower and the silence was abruptly disturbed by children racing and playing Tag. They spoke English. The dogs do poop everywhere, but given the lack of grassy patches, I suppose that's not really their fault. And not even one single dog tried to lick my toes or jump on my legs (my friends know I HATE that).
7. Sex toy shops do not have to be seedy or gross or make me feel like I have to shower afterwards. In fact, in Paris, many are decorated nicer than the Bloomingdales in the U.S.
8. There is no shame in being sexual...or sexy...or in love. PDA is so not a big deal in Paris.
9. Carbs are not the enemy.
10. Neither is cheese.
11. Ditto for alcohol.
12. Have wine at Every. Single. Meal.
13. Relish Every. Single. Meal.
14. Have an actual conversation over your meal. Save your Facebooking and your texting and your apps for the Metro. We did not see one person on the phone at a cafe or a restaurant or a bar. Even the people who were eating by themselves (which could be listed as yet another lesson: Eating alone is no big deal) simply sat and ate, smoked, read, or pondered life.
15. You shouldn't have to apologize if you spend an hour nursing your espresso or your wine while you take up a table to finish your book. In Paris, they never bring you the check until you ask for it.
16. Use really big spoons for dessert.
17. Butter is good.
18. If the coffee is good, it doesn't actually need all that cream and sugar and occasional dollop of artificial flavoring.
19. French people really, really like American music. This worked out well for us when we went to a hip French nightclub and were pleasantly surprised that every other song was straight off American top dance charts (Who thought we would ever find ourselves dancing to Pitbull in Paris?!?). However, it got pretty annoying when nearly every cafe and restaurant was playing late 80's and early 90's tunes. (Bananarama over crepes? Really??)
20. It is not, apparently, a big deal to wash your hands at a public restroom sink while a man is using the urinal right beside you. (Two times in Paris, and I still can't get over the co-ed bathroom deal.)
21. Consider wearing sensible shoes. (I was shocked to discover that my color-blocked 5-inch stilettos were, by far, the highest and fiercest in the nightclub. I mean, c'mon, ladies, this is Paris. I don't care if you have to walk cobblestones and take a bus or a train...you all are the birthing center of all things high fashion! But then, as I found myself to be the only girl standing in her stockinged bare feet at the taxi stand at 5:00 a.m., because I just couldn't take the pain anymore...did I mention they played Pitbull?...I understood.)
22. Make pleasure a priority.
23. Indulging is not being indulgent.
24. I can go a whole week without being snippy, snappy, or sarcastic. Apparently, enjoying life can really do that for a girl.

Paris was absolute perfection. We spent 7 days just being together. We ate the most delicious things and drank the best wine (why don't I get a hangover in France??) and bought great stuff. We talked and laughed and danced and held hands. We toasted "To 10 Years" with every glass. We definitely recognized that couple. They are still there. And because of that little trip, they're going to be making more regular appearances around here, too.



I swear, I could have had this at every single meal (I nearly did).

 
 


The Eiffel Tower:  Even more breathtaking the second time around!



Dancing all night in my non-sensible shoes at the chic French nightclub...



Only the American girl was standing barefoot at the taxi stand...



Strolling the streets of Paris at night...so Owen Wilson in "Midnight in Paris"



Picnic on the lawn by the Eiffel Tower: #482 on my Life List...check!

My favorite souvenir: Lanvin shoe bootie pumps, 2009 collection, found in a little vintage shop in the Marais neighborhood...never worn!

Our last night in Paris...in our cute little hotel room with the wrap-around balcony.
Au revoir!

My Year in List: 2011 in Review

Life has been a bit chaotic lately...so much good, a tad...well...um...inconvenient. "Busy" is the best way to describe the last few months. Hence...not a word in here since November. November! What IS that? I'm supposed to be a writer, a blogger, a person who likes to reflect and ponder and share and spend time around here (not to mention around "there"...where you all, my fellow bloggers and those of you who inspire me on a regular basis are writing). But nope, nothing...not a post on turning 39 (39!?!), my last 30-something-birthday. Not a post on the holidays, the magic of seeing my little boys enjoying Christmas more and more each year. Not a post on our first (annual now?) New Year's Eve party during which I ended up having oh-so-much-fun that I had to be tucked in by my friend a full hour before the dancing ended (and I NEVER miss some dancing, but fortunately, I did miss the clean-up). So I promised myself that, at the very least, I would post a little something about the year in general, even if it is way late. And so, to keep within the theme of "no time" and "too busy," I shall turn to my lists again, a form of cheating, I suppose, but a true reflection of how my brain has been working lately.




What 2011 was for me:

1. Lots of running for the half-marathon...then race day!...and, please, no more running for a while

2. Disney, Disney, and more Disney (I think we are all done with the annual pass concept for a bit)

3. Ailments: sinus infections, bronchitis, asthma, neck spasms, GERD (this item could also be listed as "WTF?!?" and/or "Could Be Worse")

4. Trying new (old) activities: can you say "Shimmy" and "Ommmmm"?

5. Not having enough money to continue with bellydancing and yoga (see above)

6. Not having enough money for a lot of stuff

7. Making new decisions about money

8. Discovering, much to our relief and amazement, that the cosmic theory that if you are responsible and generous with money, it will come back to you

9. 50th anniversary party (I think we worked harder to plan this event than our own wedding, although Lord knows, my parents deserved it)

10. Potty training

11. Potty training

12. Potty training (yes, I know...the topic deserved three listings, trust me)

13. Good-bye VPK, hello Kindergarten!

14. Personal makeover: good-bye long hair (and discovering that my hair really does not define me...heavy stuff about frivolous beauty decisions)

15. Home makeover: hello, DIY network (ever heard of "Desperate Landscapes"? They're commmming!!!!!!!!)

16. Soccer-Boys (but so NOT Soccer Mom)

17. How the fuck did I turn 39?!?

18. Reminding myself that Gwen Stefani is 42 and Sarah Jessica Parker is 46

19. Hubby and I rediscovering Us (and more importantly, recognizing the need for a rediscovery)

20. Our latest acquisition/project/adventure: an RV (and setting out to prove that Fashion Girl can also be RV Girl)


Here's to a new year: to always improving myself, to trying new things, to going back to old things I loved, and to taking some risks. Cheers!

My Life, In Lists: Please Pardon My Dust

Currently under construction:


1. My body (again): It seems as if my body has been under some sort of renovation project so many times in its lifetime, that it's no wonder parts of me are starting to sag and complain and wither. I mean, really, how many times is one's tummy skin supposed to be expected to actually suck back in to its original smoothness and tautness, between all the preteen-chubby-years, adolescent crash diets, vacation-dieting, holiday weight gain, post-holiday weight loss, pregnancy 1 and 2, and now the official "Approaching-My-Last-Birthday-In-My-30's-And-I'm-Going-To-Paris-Soon-So-I-Wanna-Be-Ultra-Skinny-So-I-Can-Wear-Chic-Black-Cigarette-Pants" era...?


2. My backyard: My parents, who are the most amazing human beings in the world and cutest little old couple EVER, are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this weekend, complete with a renewal of vows ceremony. Yep. After 50 years, my dad says (and I quote) "if I were to be born all over again and start my life over, I would still pick your mom and marry her and do things just as I did." And my mom, who is still known to giggle and squeal when she gets excited about something, and still matches her lipstick to her outfits, will "walk down the aisle" in what I am sure is her first-ever designer dress, bouquet and all. And so where does my backyard come in? It is the place where all of this is going to happen. After 14 months of planning, Hubby and I are hosting this event on Saturday, and Hubby has literally done minor construction in order to hold up the 1000+ twinkling white lights he strung over the pool and throughout the backyard in honor of the "bride and groom."


3. My family room: Because of #2 (see above), my family room which usually houses 8 large bins filled with toys, a Little Einstein's Art Table, two computer desks and chairs, indoor soccer goals, an art easel, and whatever else happens to end up there, is now being transformed into a party room of sorts: plants, white drapes, a collage of black and white photos of my parents' original wedding, and a cake table. Seems minor, but when you've got that much crap belonging to 2 little boys, it's not.

4. My health: I've had this little stint over the last few months with some random and minor (but highly annoying and disruptive) medical issues. Doctors, unfortunately, sometimes pose as many questions as patients do: "Is it asthma? Is it bronchitis? Is it migraines? Is it GERD?" All of this has--much to many of my friends' and family members' politely restrained amusement--led to a persistent eye twitch. Yes. An eye twitch. For over two months now. So if you see me and think I'm winking at you or doing my best Elvis snarl, just ignore me. Or, point and laugh.

5. My personality: Yes, I have come to the conclusion that for my very own benefit, I am currently desirous of a slight personality makeover. A little therapy perhaps? Some meditation? Pondering dramatically by the seashore? Cocktails with friends? High quality conversation with Hubby over average-quality wine? Yes, please. All of the above. I need to get a better handle on how I handle everyday stress, everyday life, and live more in the moment. (This item on the list, interestingly enough, is kinda like #1...When it comes to my ass or my attitude, I think there is always room for improvement.)


6. This blog: Well, I don't know if I can honestly drape this place with the "Caution: Construction Zone" tape, since I'm not here enough to actually justify wearing a hard hat. But this little blog, my little blog, is still here...and I'm still here...rebuilding, remodeling, reinventing.

To Do: My Life, in Lists

I haven't been around much lately.

Maybe you've noticed.

Or, then again, maybe you haven't since...really, let's be honest...there just isn't much to see around here these days.

It's just that I have all these lists jumbling around in my head lately...all To-Do Lists of some sort: things I have To Do for work, things I have To Do at home, things I have To Do for the kids...and mixed somewhere in there, dizzy amongst all the other demands, is my list of things I want To Do.

Despite how manic I can be, I'm usually pretty good about putting that list at the top. Take right now, for instance: I'm sitting in a kitchen strewn with week-old mail (we get a lot of catalogs...trust me, it's A LOT), the Disney hotel key cards from last week's trip, a month's worth of kindergarten and preschool projects, letters, worksheets, drawings, and notices (which we have surely ignored for way longer than is proper), and countertops crusted with week-old bits and pieces (last night I scraped some honey drops off with my nail...who knew honey got that hard?). But here I am: blogging instead of doing what I "should" be doing. I could rationalize it by saying that every once in a while, you gotta throw out the to-do's and just say "Fuck it" and have a night to yourself, but if I'm gonna be really honest, then I have to admit that I've done that pretty much every night for a week. Monday, it was "Fuck it, I have a fever, I don't care if the kitchen is a mess." Tuesday it was "Fuck it, I feel like shit but at least I don't have a fever anymore, so I don't care if the kitchen is still a mess." Wednesday it was "Fuck it, I finally feel like myself, so I am going to spend time with the kids, and I don't care if the kitchen is a mess." Thursday it was "Fuck it, I meant to get to it today, but I'll deal with the kitchen tomorrow." And today, well, today it's "Fuck it, I'm drinking wine and it's Friday, so just fuck it in general."

But in spite of the fact that I usually do carve time out of life's chaos To Do the stuff I really want to, sometimes blogging falls by the wayside. And I find that, for some reason, lately I have been thinking in "list-form" a lot. So after toying with the idea for a couple of months, I've decided that every once in a while (or whenever I damn well please), I will have a List Post. 'Cause truth be told, my brain never shuts down and I very often have something I want to say, but usually I just don't have the time (or energy, mainly) to sit down and put together a cohesive, poignant, perhaps funny, usually sarcastic post on the matter. So, I present you with the first of my new series: "My Life, in Lists."

List of things I can never say NO to:

1. A rockin' stiletto on sale (even though I have more than my social life will really ever require)
2. My kids asking for "one more chapter" or "one more book" or anything reading-related
3. An offer from my mother to watch the kids overnight
4. A gorgeous day at the beach
5. A night out with The Girls (or day out, or lunch, or any gathering, really, in which I may feel like I will miss out)
6. The snooze button
7. Red velvet anything
8. A foot rub
9. Good salsa
10. A really good book
11. Date night (even if it's just at home after the kids are asleep) with Hubby
12. Trashy celebrity magazines
13. Cadbury Mini Eggs (unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on the current number on the scale, they only sell them at Easter time)
14. Watching anything with Drew Barrymore or Sarah Jessica Parker in it
15. Another glass of wine

Cheers!