Tuesday, February 18, 2020

20 years ago

I walked away
from a life I thought I was supposed to want
from the plans I made because I thought I was supposed to
from the picket fence dream that was someone else's
from the expectations everyone had for me
and the ones I forced on myself

I walked away
from always feeling out of breath

my voice was always too loud
my clothes were always too bright
my ideas were always too outlandish

I thought what I wanted was not what I was supposed to want
I thought who I was was not who I was supposed to be

I thought I was not strong enough

I walked away
20 years ago
a lifetime ago
just yesterday

and walked into a life I never thought possible
a life I thought I was greedy for wanting
a life I thought existed only in movies or books or my dreams

I was strong enough to walk away
to refuse everyone's opinions
to trust my own
to trust you

I walked away from a life that was never mine
and walked into ours

I am still in awe

and although you still take my breath away
now I can breathe

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