Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The simplest things can sometimes require the most courage


It means a lot of different things to different people. What might be courageous for one person could be relatively painless to another. What one person might deem as terrifying, another might see as thrilling. Depending on the moment in your life, the challenge to be met, the obstacle to be overcome, courage could come easily or could require everything you've got.

Courage is the first topic of the Five for Ten Again, so I've been thinking a lot about courage and reading everyone else's thoughts. Many of the posts are incredibly deep and scary and courageous, about real life scary stuff. But for me, right now, courage is more personal, abstract, and internal. It's about living my life unapologetically. Being who I am, thinking what I think, saying what I need to say, and feeling how I do without apologizing for it.

No apologies to anyone, including myself.

I am usually very open, honest, loud: Here I am. Take me or leave me. But inside, often, I worry, I fret, I ponder. What did they think? Did I get my point across? Did I offend? Do they "get" me?

Who cares what people think?

I tell myself this all the time, but often, I care.

So no excuses, no explanations. This is Me. No apologies.

This is what requires the most courage from me right now...embracing my life, my choices, my thoughts, my words, my self bravely and unapologetically. It is a small thing in the grand scheme of life, but a big thing in my little world.

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  1. I feel ya, Liz. No I shouldn't care what people think, but I do. I fret constantly over what I've posted. I type whole posts out and then delete - because I worry - will it offend? Did I not make my self clear?, etc. It takes a lot courage to put your thoughts down and send them out there.

  2. I think it's natural to care about what other people think of us - human beings are social animals after all - but you can't please all of the people all of the time. When we put our opinions out there, there will always be someone who is going to disagree with us or judge us. Fuck it you know? All you can do is be yourself.

    For what it's worth, I think your blog is fantastic. It's honest and well written and I always click on your posts when I see them in my reader.

  3. It is a constant struggle to not care what others think. Good job on being courageous enough to live that way.

  4. You know I can relate to this Liz. It takes courage for me to open up and talk. Say how I feel. Be who I want to be. Because sometimes I don't like "me" or I worry that others won't like "me" so being true to myself is hard. But we have to remind ourselves how very important it is to be true to ourselves and not apologize for it because life isn't worth living if we're not.

  5. Living without apology is such a struggle for me, as well. It's why one of my mantras is "It's not my business what other people think of me." When I start worrying and fretting over other's opinions of how I'm living, I repeat that to myself and then get back to living.

  6. I can't even tell you how many things I don't say because I'm afraid of how it might come across. I live in my head far too often, because I want people to like me. It is a struggle.

  7. Ugh, I related to much to what you had to say, here. I'm always falling all over myself to apologize, even when it makes me cringe. It's a loft goal you've set for yourself--worthwhile.

  8. I just commented somewhere else about the courage NOT to apologize! It's big, big, big--I seem biologically programmed to say "sorry" at least 100 times a day, and think it another 200. Nice post.

  9. I'm torn here about this, Liz. And I hope I am able to put my thoughts into the right words.

    Yes to this (with emphasis on the word MY):
    "This is what requires the most courage from me right now...embracing my life, my choices, my thoughts, my words, my self bravely and unapologetically."

    But this, for me, can actually be so very different from caring what other people think. I don't think that the two necessarily have to go hand in hand. In at least considering what others think of our tone, our words, our thoughts, we are taking a deeper step into our own convictions. Sometimes. Not all the time. And by considering what they might think I don't at all mean that what they think will define us.

    I hope this is starting to make sense.

    I feel so very connected to other people. It is how I want to feel, actually. And in feeling this way, I think it is only natural to also feel concern over how our own little world will affect their own little world...by our doing or saying or whatnot.

    Now here's the biggest thing...because we are like SO FReAKING ALIKE, I know that I can say this and I really hope that you see what I see. I think you are living a life so fully and completely, a life that others admire, I am sure. A life full of love and laughter and highs and low that fall together in balance.

    I've missed you, girl.

  10. It is so easy to be misunderstood. So easy. And it takes courage knowing that to live out loud anyway.

    SO here's to a life loived out loud. Cheers!!

  11. I know I should care less about my perception of what others think but its a hard thing to do - that said, I'm making progress, just teeny tiny progress

  12. I'd love to have the courage to be unapologetic and not give a damn about what people think of me but I just can't seem to do it! My husband is the other end of the spectrum - he really doesn't give a toss what people think and I really admire him for it!


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