Tuesday, April 10, 2012

If I have to be honest...

I'm not sure
was for me

I'm not sure
I'm very good
at it

I feel most alive
when I am leaving

driving away

leaving them behind
for a few hours


away from my life



no disciplining or
enforcement of truth-telling or
homework or
scattered toy pieces

and then
I look at them

they do something
that thing
they do
each one
and my heart leaps
and sinks
because I think
there is no way
I deserve them


  1. You have just summed up, very beautifully, how I think most (if not all) moms sometimes feel.

  2. Sp perfectly written.

    I sometimes think I'm happiest when I'm all alone, just me coffee, peace & time to think thoughts that I can actually hear!

    But then they come tumbling back into my life with their non stop chatter, their noise & their stories.....and when I snuggle them at night, I know without doubt they are the best part of my life.

    Beautiful post Liz Xx

  3. I needed to read this Liz. I know motherhood has it's common emotions, but this truly spoke to me. What I hate the most is the GUILT I feel when I drive away and feel happy about driving away. And then to come home to all this love and adventure and feel like I missed out on something and how incredibly selfish...
    it's such a balancing act.
    well written, girl.

  4. I feel most alive
    when I am leaving

    You said it. Amen.

  5. You deserve them Liz - and they're SO lucky to have you! It's called having a fully rounded life. Your interests haven't stopped just because you had children, and that's what tugs at us. You couldn't have created the little champions that they are if you weren't Liz the Mummy, the wife, the friend, the work colleague and above all Liz - the woman. Worse would be if you were all consumed by them - then what could we teach them and how could we help them enter the big wide world. Motherhood is a rocky road to negotiate - but SO worthwhile - you're doing a grand job just by being yourself and being honest! Paula x

  6. Oh my... I thank God for having you in my life, otherwise I'd think I'm abnormal and go at all this ALONE.

    I think that way more times than I should. I am happy to go anywhere including the supermarket by MYSELF... and then wonder why I only buy J's snacks and forget mine! LOL I'm a motherly person but actually being one is a whole other.... IDK 'experience'? Well my friend-- thanks again for your honesty :o) Love u lots and those 2 boys of yours are just awesome!
    Lucky mommy (& daddy) -- Luckier boys!!!! ;o}



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