I don't think this is what Mattel had in mind...

Somewhere out there in the blogosphere, some people have come up with some pretty creative blog awards. I've been flattered to receive a few such bloggies over the past year, but a couple of weeks ago I received one that was, well, um, even more quirky than the Zombie Chicken Award. ThatGirl39 of Forty Not Out has honored me with...ready?

You sure?

Positive?

Okay...here it is...

The Plastic Joy Award!

Yep. It's naked dolls doin' it. (Check out brunette Barbie on top...you go, girl!).

Now, we all know that I can get as serious and dark as the next person. I'm all about blogging bluntly...putting it all out there...therapy online, if you will. This blog is mainly about my kids, about how motherhood challenges me every day, about how I struggle to keep myself authentic and happy and interesting while still being a Good Mom.

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However...I am all about frivolity. Fashion? Celebrities? Shoes? I'm in. And that's what I love about ThatGirl39...I mean, she has regular Wardrobe Watch posts, for glory's sake. So when she bestowed upon me this raunchy little award, I was like "Oh, hell yeah."
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And wait...it gets better. It's more than just a pornographic picture of Ken and Barbie (minus the highlights, apparently). The award's rules state that I must select 5 characters with whom I'd like to, well, you know...I mean, look at the picture...'nuff said. So let me take a moment to point out that the rules state that I must select characters, not celebrities. I know...semantics...but it does make a difference, believe me. It's one thing to say "Oh, the 5 hottest celebrities are..." That's easy. That's all about eye candy. With this one, I had to think about the characters' personalities. (Maybe I think too much?)

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So now, without further adieu (and with the hopes that I can forget that Hubby reads this blog regularly), I present you with the 5 Characters I'd Like To Ride Like Brunette Barbie:

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1. Lost's James Sawyer:

I'm all about the dirty, long-haired look, but what makes me want to forget that this guy hasn't bathed in days is that underneath that bad-ass-I-don't-give-a-damn-exterior is a guy who just wants to be understood (and knows how to treat a woman in a cage).

2. Dirty Dancing's Johnny Castle:

Forget porn. Give me the dancing/sex scene from "Dirty Dancing." Johnny's a little misunderstood and a little "bad boy" (see a pattern?), and loving him pissed off a whole lotta people. Plus, every woman should have a man who pulls her out of the corner her Daddy put her in (What? I've been in therapy. It's okay.).

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3. The Hangover's Phil:

Okay, here is my token pretty boy. Bradley Cooper has never particularly done anything for me. In fact, when I saw this movie, I thought it was the first time I'd ever seen this guy. I didn't realize until later that this was the same guy from "Wedding Crashers" and a few other movies. I am soooooo not into pretty boys. I am sooooo not into clean cut. But the character he plays...well, who wouldn't want to get drunk in Vegas and steal a police car with this guy? He was the ultimate party boy: funny, laid back, and ready for anything. Oh, and at the end of the movie, when he's got his kid slung over his shoulder, sound asleep? Perfection.

4. The Bridges of Madison County's Robert Kincaid:

Allow me to stress, yet again, that the bloggie assignment was to pick characters, not actors with whom I'd like to romp around, so this is not Clint Eastwood I am talking about. In fact, I debated just putting a picture of the book's cover, rather than the movie version. Robert Kincaid was an artsy, rugged, nonconformist who knew what love and passion was when he found it. That's the kind of intensity a woman needs in her life.

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And for my last and final choice...the one and only...

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5. Pirates of the Caribbean's Captain Jack Sparrow: Yes, I realize he smells. Yes, I realize he looks a tad effeminate when he runs. Yes, I know he might be completely mad. And yes, I realize the fact that Johnny Depp plays him probably skews my perception a bit. But no matter how many times I see this movie, I can not, for the life of me, figure out why Elizabeth Bennett would pick Will. I mean, to be on a deserted beach, drinking rum with Captain Jack, with his smudgy eye liner and chiseled cheek bones? Argh, Cap'n.

And so now I pass this task (and award) to a few other of my bloggie friends:
~Maria at Mom of Three Seeks Sanity

~Jane & Lucy (this is soooo up your alley) at Four Jugs

~TKW at The Kitchen Witch

~Kristen at Motherese

~Jen & Sarah at Momalom

~Simone at The Bottom of the Ironing Basket

I figure everyone loves a little bloggie award...and this one does wonders for your libido.

*And for everyone else...c'mon, join in...which character/s would you like to pull a Brunette Barbie on?

You're just saying that 'cause I'm wearing make-up

So according to my friend, colleague, and newly blogging buddy, Maria at Mom of "Three Seeks Sanity," I am a "Beautiful Blogger." Cool.

Never one to turn down an award, I officially thank Maria. Never one to break a rule (okay, not never...usually), I will do as told and share 7 things you might not know about me. (This is gonna be tough...I'm pretty sure you all know waaaaaay too much already.)

1. I love the show "Lost," but often feel really, really blonde when I'm watching it.
2. I am deathly, irrationally, ridiculously afraid of lizards.
3. I love, love, love living in South Florida. Yes, there's traffic and chaos and ridiculously overpriced real estate. But there's also people from all over the world, beautiful beaches, clubs that open 'til morning, quiet family-oriented neighborhoods, and some of the best shopping in the world.
4. My ultimate life dream is to have a vacation home in Hawaii.
5. I feel I am my most true self when I'm running or drinking (no, not water).
6. I get pissy the minute the thermometer dips below 70 degrees.
7. In my closet is a signed picture of the cast of "Sex and the City" and a mini chandelier.

So, there. Now you can add those to the list in your heads entitled "Useless But Hopefully Slightly Amusing Information About The Girl Who Writes The But Then I Had Kids Blog." Now go check out Maria...she's new around here and pretty damn clever.

Perhaps I should do a happy dance...

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Let's have a cocktail and celebrate, shall we?

Simone, over at The Bottom of the Ironing Basket, posts the most beautiful images and quotes on her blog. It makes me happy just to see the amazing photos of dresses, places, and people. So how appropriate that she should award me with the uber-cute Happy 101 Award...given to bloggers who make you smile! I'm pretty happy that I'm making Simone happy since she makes me so happy...ah, such warm fuzzies abound around here today! Now, I am to share 10 things that make me...you guessed it...happy.

10. Cupcakes: I'm not sure what's up with my obsession with cupcakes, but they make me smile. They're just cute and girlie and yummy. And if they happen to be the red velvet cake kind, all the better.

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9. Disney World: Yes, it's overpriced. Yes, it's exhausting. Yes, it's over the top. But I love it. Every bit of it. I'm a sucker for the magic.

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8. Getting my hair colored: I know, I'm shallow, but nothing puts a spring in my step like a fresh set of golden highlights. And if there happens to be a pink streak in there, all the better.

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7. Words: I'm a word nerd. I love words. Words are tangible, alive, powerful. Finding just the right one makes me happy.

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6. Make-up: I'm not one of those women who refuses to leave her house without make up. I wear my naked face with pride. But make-up makes me happy. There's something fun and creative and whimsical about palettes of eye shadow and tubes of lipstick. And if there happens to be a hint of glitter in it, all the better.

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5. Vacations: Planning them, going on them, remembering them...nothing better on which to spend my money.

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4. The beach: There is no place on earth I'd rather be. There's something about the sand and the ocean...it soothes my soul. And yes, even at 90+ degrees and the infamous South Florida humidity, I'm happy. Give me an umbrella, a cooler, and plenty of SPF...and I am a happy, happy girl.

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3. Shoes: It doesn't matter if they hurt. If they are fabulous, they make me happy.

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2. My kids: The irony of this one? The boys would also be on the "10 Things That Drive Me Crazy List" too!

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1. And the number one thing that makes me happy? Hubby. I'm one of the lucky ones.

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So thanks, Simone, and I pass on my Happy 101 Award to some other bloggers who make me happy...

Lucy and Jane at Four Jugs

Sarah and Jen at Momalom

Gigi at Gigi's Ramblings

That Girl 39 at Forty Not Out

Becca at Drama for Mama

TKW at The Kitchen Witch

Kristen at Motherese

Mary Anne at The Stiletto Mom

The World of Blogging: Happy Hobby or Part-time Job?

I love my blog. A lot. What started out as a mere "Let-me-dip-my-toe-in-the-waters-and-see-what-happens" idea has turned into a third child (and that is the closest I will ever get to another kid so I guess it worked out). I love that I feel like a writer again for the first time in years. I love that I think about words and phrases and constantly search for blog fodder. I love the fellow bloggers who have actually become friends/cheerleaders/therapists.

But some days, I just don't want to post.

Sometimes I'm too tired.

Sometimes I don't have enough time.

Sometimes I don't have anything good to say.

Sometimes I'd rather watch Cougar Town.

But those who know me know that I have great potential for obsessive compulsive behaviors.

I start to think about the blog. I start keeping count of how many days it's been since I've posted. I start checking other blogs to see how often they are posting. I think of all the "Blogging Tips" I've read that stress the importance of posting regularly. I start to strategically plan clever cheating strategies that will count as posts but not require me to put down anything requiring thought (Guest posts? Picture posts? Contests in which I give away my shoe collection?). In other words, I stress.

So imagine my surprise, delight, and opportunistic relief when I saw that Jane Lively over at Four Jugs thought me "kreativ" enough to grant me this dainty and feminine meme-like award for my blog:

Now, as I mentioned previously, I was never really very popular growing up, so general shout-outs of fabulousness are always appreciated around here (not to mention the joy of watching my sidebar turn into a little charm bracelet of sorts, with all of my little awards dangling...!). Add to that the fact that this has now given me a day off of my self-imposed blog posting pressure, I am extremely grateful to Jane!

The rules state that I am to pass this forward to 7 other "kreativ" bloggers and share 7 things about me you all don't know, but seeing as I just recently linked up to a bunch of you with the world-renowned and highly coveted Zombie Chicken Award and I once shared not 7, but 101 amazing factoids about myself, I will simply refer you here and here.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a couple of taped episodes of Cougar Town to watch...

Blog Awards Rock (and so do I, apparently)

I was not very popular in high school.

I know, I know. That's shocking, because really, I'm so damn cool now, right? But no, not then. I peaked late in life, you see.

So it's pretty fun when One Of The Cool Girls thinks I'm kinda cool, too.

That Girl39 of Forty Not Out (who is really fabulous) has awarded me with:
Now I know that my non-blogging friends right now are like: "Huh? The Zombie Chicken Award?!? And how, exactly, is this a good thing?" But trust me on this one...only the cool girls get 'em. I know. I've looked around.

“The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken – excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all.”

So because I would not want That Girl39 to brave a raving pack of zombie chickens in vain, I shall continue blogging so she is able to read my "inspiring words." And in order to avoid the wrath of said chickens myself, I shall accept the task and pass the award on to 5 other worthy bloggers:

~Jen and Sarah at Momalom because they were one of the first I discovered in this blogging world who really inspired me...and continue to do so on a regular basis with their blunt, insightful honesty...so much so that I have a quote from one of their posts taped to my wall...and because I am sure Sarah and I would be partners in crime if only we knew each other in Real Life.

~JennyMac at Let's Have a Cocktail..., and I don't care if she's already gotten one of these before and just about every other award out there. She's too damn cool not to get one from me. I mean, she has 658 followers, has been published, writes hilarious posts about everything and nothing, and still manages to find the time to check out other little blogs (such as this one) AND comment on them!

~Simone at The Bottom of the Ironing Basket, who I just discovered but whose images inspire me. I am already addicted.

~Becca at Drama for Mama because her mommy stories make me laugh, and I am pretty sure her daughter will end up marrying my son...simply because they both have the same exact annoying (endearing) qualities and quirks.

~Lucy and Jane at Four Jugs because somehow they manage to constantly write about random topics in a way that makes me desperately want to read them (not to mention their nifty occasional 80's and movie-themed quizzes).

So ladies...thanks for writing, inspiring, and making me laugh. Enjoy your chickens. You deserve 'em. Now, if you'll excuse me, I shall have a martini to celebrate my own zombie chicken fabulousness.